MINI-REVIEWING MONSTERS, MASTERS, MANDIBLES, AND MORE!

 

Publicity posters for The Mole People, Master of the World, and Monsters (© Virgil Vogel/Universal Pictures / © William Witney/American International Pictures / © Gareth Edwards/Vertigo Films – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Time to present another melange of mini-reviews, and this time, albeit for no particular reason, all of the movies featured are ones whose principal titles (i.e. excluding 'The') begin with the letter M.

 

 

My official UK DVD of Monsters (© Gareth Edwards/Vertigo Films – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

MONSTERS

A long-planned-to-watch movie duly watched recently (18 March 2022, to be precise) was this one – Monsters. Directed and written by Gareth Edwards (but not the legendary Welsh rugby player, I hasten to add!), and released by Vertigo Films in 2010, Monsters is all about 230-ft-tall tentacled aliens brought back to Earth from elsewhere in the Solar System as tiny samples that were inadvertently released when the NASA space probe carrying them crashed during its re-entry. Now they've bred, enlarged greatly, and have taken over northern Mexico, with the southern USA imminently in similar danger. Two brave souls – American photo-journalist Andrew Kaulder (played by Scoot McNairy) and his employer's young-adult daughter Samantha Wynden (Whitney Able) – are desperately striving to elude these mega-aliens' slimy clutches while making their way back home to the USA from Mexico. Monsters is very entertaining and engrossing, though the aliens, which can live both in water and on land, are scarcely seen until the second half of this movie. Also, once you reach what you assume to be its end, you then need to view the beginning again, closely, because that is actually the end of the movie, chronologically speaking, and it reveals the fate of the two lead characters (though obviously you won't have realised this when watching the movie the first time). In 2015, a sequel, Monsters: Dark Continent, was released, but it received less public praise than the original. Please click here to view an official Monsters trailer on YouTube.

 

 

Publicity poster for Master of the World (© William Witney/American International Pictures – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

MASTER OF THE WORLD

My movie watch on 19 February 2022 was Master of the World. Directed by William Witney, and released by American International Pictures in 1961, Master of the World stars Vincent Price as the memorable if tyrannical Jules Verne character Robur aka the self-proclaimed Master of the World, and combines plot elements from the two Verne novels in which this brilliant but deranged megalomaniacal inventor appeared (Robur the Conqueror, 1886, and Master of the World, 1904). It also includes a major additional plot element, in which Robur uses his superior flying machine to threaten the world's governments with annihilation unless they stop all warfare and destroy all weapons. Like that is ever going to happen! Also starring a young Charles Bronson in the hero role of US government agent John Strock who is intent upon halting Robur's mad machinations (and machinery!). Master of the World is gorgeously presented and very enjoyable throughout, containing plenty of wonderful steam-punk visuals, plus a couple of (melo)dramatic songs sung over the end-credits. A sequel, entitled Stratofin, was planned, but never made. Please click here to view an official Master of the World trailer on YouTube.

 

 

Publicity still of Dominique the giant fly in Mandibles (© Quentin Dupieux/Chi-Fou-Mi Productions/Memento Film Production/C8 Films/Artemis Productions/Memento Distribution/Magnolia Pictures – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

MANDIBLES

On 17 April 2022, my movie watch, on the UK TV channel Film On 4, was a truly bizarre French movie from 2020 entitled Mandibles, supplied with English subtitles. Directed by Quentin Dupieux (aka Mr Oizo in his parallel music career), who also wrote and edited it as well as taking charge of its cinematography, and released in 2020 by Memento Distribution in France, Magnolia Pictures overseas, Mandibles is all about two imbecilic friends – Jean-Gab (played by David Marsais) and Manu (Grégoire Ludig) – who discover that the boot (trunk) of the stolen car being driven by them contains a giant dog-sized fly, very much alive but of undetermined origin. They decide to train it (as you would do!), so that it can steal money from banks and bring it back to them (of course!), but en route to this highly implausible outcome they become embroiled in all manner of farcical disasters, not least of which is that Dominique (the name that Jean-Gab has given to the fly) eats their pet dog. (Clearly, no-one associated with this movie had ever examined the mouthparts and feeding capabilities of a genuine fly!) Mandibles is undeniably humorous if decidedly surreal, with all of the characters playing their absurd roles in a totally straight-faced manner, which only adds to the thoroughly yet deliberately ridiculous, hilarious nature of the entire movie. Please click here to view an official Mandibles trailer on YouTube.

 

 

My official UK DVD of The Mole People (© Virgil Vogel/Universal Pictures – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

THE MOLE PEOPLE

30 April 2022 was designated B-Movie Watch Night by me, in honour of which I viewed the classic(?) b/w sci fi film The Mole People. Directed by Virgil Vogel, released in 1956 by Universal Pictures, and featuring the Hollow Earth theory as its central premise, The Mole People focuses upon a team of archaeologists (no famous actor names playing them) who discover (as you do...) a lost but still very much alive Sumerian civilisation populated by Ishtar-worshipping albinos and enslaved mutant mushroom-gathering mole men with scaly skin and huge clawed hands living inside a hollow inner Earth deep below an Asian mountain. Originally believed to be heavenly messengers from the goddess Ishtar herself due to their light-producing flashlight (which is too powerful for the sensitive eyes of the Sumerians to bear after living underground for millennia), the two surviving archaeologists are eventually denounced as fakes, and are sent into the Fire of Ishtar to be burnt alive – only for them to discover that the 'Fire' is merely sunlight, shining through a crevice high above. To the Sumerians and their unpigmented albino skin, the sun's rays are indeed deadly, but not to the archaeologists, who duly survive, only for the entire civilisation to then face an unexpected, cataclysmic earthquake. It's all happening down in the depths! Be sure to click here to view an official trailer on YouTube for The Mole People – go on, you know you want to!

 

 

My official VHS video of Magical Mystery Tour (© The Beatles/Apple Corps/BBC/New Line Cinema/Apple Films/The Video Connection – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR

After buying it for £1 two days earlier, on 8 March 2022 I watched my VHS video of the 1967 TV movie Magical Mystery Tour, directed by and starring The Beatles – that's £1 of my money and 54 minutes of my life I'll never get back! Words such as self-indulgent, pretentious, and tosh came readily to my mind when viewing it – what were The Beatles thinking of?? It was apparently heavily criticised as abjectly poor after making its TV debut on the BBC on Boxing Day 1967, with those fans of it who existed claiming that its problems arose from the BBC showing it in b/w when it was manifestly a colour movie. That won't have helped, certainly, but a far greater issue was that it is alternately too dull and too nonsensical to be even vaguely interesting, imho. What is it all about? Who knows? Something concerning four or five magicians in the sky adding magic and mystery into the journey of a coach tour and its party, as far as I can tell. Sadly, they fail - at least for me. Overall, it more closely resembles a series of quite decent music videos for various Beatles songs (especially the beautiful sunset scene encapsulating 'Fool on the Hill', and a Copacabana/Coconut Grove cabaret setting for 'Your Mother Should Know') but linked together by a trite, unfunny, and sometimes soporific coach-tour-themed scenario. Apparently much of this latter footage was unscripted and therefore wholly improvised, and it shows! I actually like a lot of the Beatles' output, I always have done, which is why this movie came as such an unexpected, bitter disappointment for me, after having wanted to see it for so long. My verdict on Magical Mystery Tour? Why it wasn't magical is a mystery, at least to me, so I'd be at the tour office bright and early the next morning, demanding a full refund! I plan on watching soon what has been described as The Monkees' answer to Magical Mystery Tour – Head. It's said to be even worse than MMT – can't wait… Meanwhile, here is an official trailer for the DVD release of Magical Mystery Tour on YouTube – you have been warned!

To view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

The monsters from Monsters (© Gareth Edwards/Vertigo Films – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

 

THE TALKING PARCEL

 

A publicity image for The Talking Parcel animated featurette (© Brian Cosgrove/Mark Hall/Cosgrove Hall Films – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Just for a change, this latest Shuker In MovieLand entry is not so much a review per se as a series of personal recollections and reflections ultimately relating to its animated featurette subject.

Moon carrots may not seem the most obvious choice of subject for a Shuker In MovieLand film review, but in reality they form an intrinsic component of one of my favourite animated movies that in turn links back through the years via a world-renowned author to a much-loved book that I was bought as a child and which I still own today. But to begin at the beginning…

The existence of moon carrots was first brought to my attention when, as a child, my grandad Ernest Timmins (my mother's father) bought for me as a Christmas present in 1968 (my ninth Christmas) an absolutely wonderful book entitled The Natural History of Europe.

 

The Natural History of Europe – from countless readings of my much-loved copy of this book (containing a greatly-treasured handwritten message inside from Grandad, who passed away just a few years later), and which I still own today, its dustjacket was totally wrecked many years ago, but I was eventually able to buy a replacement for it, seen here (© Harry Garms/Wilhelm Eigener/Paul Hamlyn Publishing Group – reproduced on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

My copy was the second impression (published in 1968) of the 1967 English-language version of a German book entitled Pflanzen und Tiere Europas ('European Plants and Animals') that had originally been published in 1962. Written by Harry Garms and brimming throughout with the most delightful full-colour illustrations by Wilhelm Eigener, this fascinating book documented a vast array of fauna and flora inhabiting Europe, many of which were entirely new to me at that tender age, so it was instrumental in teaching me an immense amount about this continent's wildlife.

Its contents were divided up into several discrete habitat-themed sections. Namely: Woods and Forests; Heath, Moor and Tundra; Freshwater; Sea and Shore; Meadows and Pastureland; Field, Garden and Park; and Mountains.

One of the non-British plants documented and depicted on p. 182 in the Meadows and Pastureland section was the annual moon carrot Seseli annuum. Yet in spite of its imaginative English name, it turned out merely to be a species of herb, albeit one that is indeed taxonomically akin to the true carrot Daucus carota sativus by being a member of the same plant family, Apiaceae (the umbellifers), and similarly producing a conical taproot. (Moreover, a closely related species, Seseli sibirica [= sibiricum], known simply as the moon carrot but native to Britain this time, was included on p. 222 in the Field, Garden and Park section.)

 

Moon carrot flowers – more than a hundred Seseli species are known, and many are referred to colloquially as moon carrots (© Andrey Zharkikh/Wikipedia – CC BY 2.0 licence)

Nevertheless, I was not the only person who was captivated by the moon carrot's memorable moniker. So too was the wildlife celebrity who had penned a foreword to this book – none other than Jersey Zoo founder, bestselling author, and longstanding cryptozoological enthusiast Gerald Durrell.

Indeed, within his witty foreword can be found the following wonderful, inimitably Durrellesque lines, celebrating the fact that not only is this book an indispensable addition to the luggage of any keen naturalist visiting Europe but also:

…it is worth possessing for the sheer poetry that it contains. Who would mind an insect bite or two providing you were sure that they had been inflicted by the Spangle-winged Mosquito? Who, when swimming in the sea, would not be charmed to meet a fish called a Dentex (which sounds faintly like a new brand of toothpaste), or the Painted Comber (which must surely have some connection with mermaids)? But it is among the plants that the botanists have really let themselves run wild. Who would not stop, even on an autobahn, to get more closely acquainted with a Nodding Bur-marigold or Curtis's Mouse-ear or the Ramping Fumitory or even the Hawkweed Treacle-mustard? Who would not love to watch some worthy farmer gathering his crop of Annual Moon Carrot?

 

A portion of p. 182 from The Natural History of Europe that contains its description and depiction of the annual moon carrot – click to enlarge for reading purposes (© Harry Garms/Wilhelm Eigener/Paul Hamlyn Publishing Group – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

It has been over 50 years since I first read those delightfully evocative words, but typing them here now it seems like only yesterday, as they made such a deep impression in my memory – and not only in mine. Fast-forward a decade, and by the end of the 1970s I had joyfully read every non-fiction book written up until then by Gerald Durrell himself, chronicling his numerous animal-collecting expeditions to all manner of far-flung tropical lands, his founding of Jersey Zoo, and of course his enchanting childhood as a passionate boy-naturalist growing up with his family (and other animals) on the idyllic Greek island of Corfu.

What I hadn't realized, however, was that he had also written some children's fantasy novels – until, when browsing through a bookshop one day during the early 1980s, I happened upon a paperback edition of one of them, entitled The Talking Parcel.

The copy that I was looking at and duly purchased had been published in 1983 by Lions, of Fontana, and was the fifth impression of the Lions 1976 paperback edition. The original hardback edition, whose colourful dustjacket depicted a very imposing cockatrice in fiery finery, had been published two years earlier by Collins, in 1974 (and is now extremely collectable!).

 

My Lions paperback edition of Gerald Durrell's novel The Talking Parcel (© Gerald Durrell/Lions, of Fontana – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Back home, I started reading my latest literary acquisition straight away, whose story concerns three children (Penelope, Simon, and Peter) who find a talking parcel on the beach, which when opened reveals inside a somewhat bossy parrot (named Parrot – or, as he prefers to be called, The Parrot), who takes them to the fantasy land of Mythologia in order to rescue its kindly old magician, H.H., from the clutches of the dreadful cockatrices. Needless to say, I was delighted to discover that its story features all manner of other mythological and even cryptozoological creatures too, including werewolves, mermaids, griffons, phoenixes, shrieking mandrake plants, Tabitha the last dragon, a sea serpent named Oswald, and even some delightful Durrell-created beasties known as moon-calves. These latter animals are giant dark-green snails with golden and green shells but the heads of mooing bull calves, whose shells bear Hot and Cold taps for releasing milk as well as a third one specifically for cream.

But my greatest surprise and pleasure came from finding that The Talking Parcel contains numerous references to none other than moon carrots! However, they are no ordinary ones – for as explained on p. 88 of my paperback copy, these had been created by the afore-mentioned magician H.H., are striped red and white, and, when hung up to dry after having being gathered, reveal written inscriptions upon their outer surface that are instructions for preparing whatever delicious full-course meal they describe, using nothing more than the special powder contained inside them.

Bearing in mind that his novel The Talking Parcel was not published until 1974, whereas he had written his moon carrot-mentioning foreword for The Natural History of Europe some time prior to its publication in 1967, I think it very likely that the moon carrot's presence in the latter book had served as direct inspiration for Gerald Durrell (whose foreword for it revealed that he had clearly been entertained by this plant's name) to incorporate it within his subsequent novel, albeit in a now much-magicalised form. And if so, how happy I am that it did, elevating what had hitherto been an obscure, little-known plant outside botanical circles into a magical delight that has since charmed, and continues to charm, generations of children – as well as a fair few parents – and not only via his original novel.

 

Hardback first edition of The Talking Parcel (© Gerald Durrell/HarperCollins – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

In 1978, an extremely prolific UK-based animation studio named Cosgrove Hall Films (after its founder animators Brian Cosgrove and Mark Hall, and famed for such still-popular, fondly-remembered children's TV shows as Danger Mouse, SuperTed, Chorlton and the Wheelies, The Wind on the Willows, and Count Duckula), released a 40-minute animated featurette version of The Talking Parcel, adapted from Durrell's novel by Rosemary Anne Sisson and directed by Brian Cosgrove himself.

Vibrantly colourful throughout, this featurette includes many of the novel's beloved fantasy characters, which are voiced by some of Britain's most popular actors and actresses at that time. They include Freddie Jones as Parrot, Windsor Davies as the bombastic Chief Cockatrice, Roy Kinnear as a shifty but ultimately loyal toad named Ethelred, Mollie Sugden as Hortense the French flying train, and Sir Michael Hordern as Oswald the sea serpent. Of the original three children in the novel, only Penelope appears in this cartoon version, but otherwise it adheres fairly closely to the original's basic storyline. Moreover, in faithful homage to the latter's introductory chapter, it opens with a scene featuring Parrot inside the parcel singing two verses of a very catchy song entitled 'Moon Carrot Pie' (the novel contains additional verses).

The Talking Parcel animated mini-movie has been screened (and watched by me) a number of times on the UK TV channel ITV down through the years, and it has also been officially released on both VHS videocassette and DVD (although I have yet to find a reasonably-priced one in either format to add to my collection of animated productions). If you'd like to view it right now, however, you can currently do so here, free of charge, on YouTube. And so, altogether now:

Moon carrot Pie, Moon carrot Pie,
It'll liven you up, bring a gleam to your eye.
Oh, a dragon, a unicorn, sea serpent high,
They all love their slices of
Moon carrot Pie.

To view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

My grandad Ernest Timmins with me, mid-1960s (© Dr Karl Shuker)

THE MOUSE AND HIS CHILD

 

The UK video version of The Mouse and His Child (© Charles Swenson/Fred Wolf/Murakami-Wolf Productions/Sanrio/DeFaria-Lockhart-Sanrio – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

A few weeks ago, I finally watched the animated movie version of one of my favourite childhood novels, Russell Hoban's delightful 1967 fantasy, The Mouse and His Child.

Directed by Charles Swenson and Fred Wolf, and released in 1977 by the Japanese company Sanrio, The Mouse and His Child stays fairly faithful throughout to its literary original, perhaps a little too faithful, in fact, as I'll explain shortly.

As in the novel, the movie focuses upon a clockwork toy consisting of a father mouse and his child with hands connected who dance together when wound up. At the movie's beginning, they are housed safely inside a cozy toyshop, waiting to be purchased alongside many other toys there, as Christmas grows very near, but inadvertently they find themselves abandoned upon the snowy street outside.

They are initially rescued by a kindly tramp (voiced by John Carradine) before being seized by an evil rat named Manny (Peter Ustinov), who enslaves clockwork toys to do his every bidding, and callously breaks up any that fail to meet his requirements. Thanks to a prophecy-spouting frog (Andy Devine), however, the mouse and his child succeed in escaping the rat's clutches, but he pursues them unrelentingly as they engage upon a series of exciting adventures, meeting all manner of distinctive creatures in their quest to become self-winding toys. Other famous names in this movie's voice cast include Sally Kellerman as a seal and Cloris Leachman as Euterpe the parrot.

In the original novel, Hoban's characters are given to all manner of philosophizing, often at length, which is why, famously, this book is as popular among adults as it is among children. That same tendency is reiterated in this film version, but unfortunately with far less success.

For whereas a book by its very nature is primarily verbal in format, an animated movie (or any other kind, for that matter) is primarily visual, and in this particular movie the philosophizing comes across as being not so much verbal as verbose, slowing down the action on an all-too-frequent basis. Unlike the novel, moreover, this movie version of it is aimed fair and square at children, so the philosophizing is likely not only to go completely over the heads of much of its intended audience but also to bore them rigid.

To be frank, even I found it tedious and heavy-going at times, despite my having enjoyed it all those years ago when reading the novel. Sometimes the written word simply does not translate well on screen, and this movie, sadly, is definitely a prime example of that. It is nothing if not intriguing, therefore, that Hoban is said to have disliked how, in his opinion, the novel's philosophizing was watered down in the movie! More watering, less wording, is what I say!

The animation is of a very basic nature – Disneyesque, it ain't – but nonetheless is serviceable for a movie that has a quaint, whimsical charm in spite of its prolix proclivity, so if you get the chance to view this film, do so.

Indeed, at the time of writing this review, The Mouse and His Child can be watched in its entirety free of charge on YouTube, so click here if you'd like to do so.

To view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.