REIGN OF THE GARGOYLES

 

Publicity poster for Reign of the Gargoyles (© Ayton Davis/Sci Fi Pictures/Concrete Productions/Unified Film Organization/Syfy Original Movies – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

On 20 July 2022, my movie watch (screened this afternoon in Britain on Legend TV - formerly the Horror Channel) was the WW2/monster mash-up fantasy movie Reign of the Gargoyles.

Directed by Ayton Davis, co-produced by Phillip J. Roth, and released in 2007 by Syfy Original Movies, Reign of the Gargoyles opens with some WW2 Nazis utilising an ancient blood ritual to bring to life a huge stone statue of the horned 'king' gargoyle Vorthorn, located inside a ruined castle on the French/Belgian border. Moreover, Vorthorn's now-living state in turn brings to life a host of other gargoyle stone statues there too.

But instead of serving the Nazis, as was the latter's plan for these monsters, the gargoyles slaughter them all, and then fly away to inflict comparable carnage not only upon local villagers but also upon both American and German fighter planes in the skies overhead.

The only way to end these winged marauders' reign of terror is to locate the tomb of a soldier knight who had killed them when they had been brought to life once before, many centuries earlier during the Middle Ages, by harpooning Vorthorn with the Spear of Destiny, thereby transforming this unholy monster and, in turn, all of the other gargoyles as well, back into stone.

This spear is of course the very same one that a Roman centurion had wounded Jesus Christ with when He was crucified and which supposedly possessed magical properties thereafter.

As the legendary Spear had been buried with the knight, a group of American and British WW2 soldiers, aided by a local French woman named Sofie who relates to them the bizarre history of the gargoyles, set out to find the tomb and retrieve the Spear from it for slaying Vorthorn, but confronting gargoyles and Nazis alike en route.

As I'm not a big war movie fan, I tended to skip over in my mind the frequent warfare scenes between the Americans/British troops and the Nazis, so I no doubt missed the various factual WW2-related errors that others have commented about elsewhere. Conversely, regardless once again of criticism aimed at them by certain other reviewers, I personally found the CGI gargoyles sufficiently impressive to maintain my attention, especially for a non-Hollywood movie with a non-Hollywood budget.

So, notwithstanding Reign of the Gargoyles being a bargain-basement movie entry, with no major film stars appearing in it (the best known are probably Joe Penny as U.S. Major John 'Gus' Gustafson and Wes Ramsey as fellow American airman Will 'Ace' McCallister), its cast all provide creditable performances in my opinion, and the movie itself offers an interesting, undeniably novel twist on the standard creature feature theme, which I certainly appreciated and relished. It is well known that the Nazis, especially those under Himmler, dabbled in the occult, yet few films have pursued this aspect, so this one should be congratulated for forging an original path in its theme.

If like me you enjoy goggling at gargoyles on the big or small screen, and can understand German, be sure to click here to watch a German-language version of the entire Reign of the Gargoyles movie free of charge on YouTube (the version that I watched on TV was in English, but this is not presently available on YouTube).

To view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

4D MAN

 

Publicity poster for 4D Man (© Irwin Yeaworth/Fairview Productions/Jack H. Harris Enterprises/Universal-International – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial fair use basis for educational/review purposes only)

On 4 July 2022, I watched the 1959 sci fi movie 4D Man, as recommended to me a few days previously by Facebook friend Paul Clacher – and I enjoyed it very much.

Directed by Irvin S. Yeaworth Jr, produced by Jack H. Harris, and released in 1959 by Universal-International, 4D Man is based upon an original idea by Harris, and it has also been variously entitled The Evil Force and Master of Terror in re-released form. It concerns the incredible discovery by maverick scientist Dr Tony Nelson (played by James Congdon) of how to induce any object to enter a so-called 4-dimensional state, in which it can pass through any other object.

However, his older, embittered brother Dr Scott Nelson (Robert Lansing), also a scientist yet perpetually overlooked by his employer, steals Tony's discovery and uses it upon himself, but with drastic consequences. Yes, Scott can now pass through solid objects, enabling him to steal a huge amount of money from a nearby bank, but every time he enters the 4-dimensional state, even for just a moment, he ages dramatically.

Scott subsequently finds that he can reverse this aging process by touching another person, for in so doing Scott drains that person's life-force, killing the person by inducing in him or her extreme old age. Now a serial killer in order to survive, Scott soon becomes a wanted man by the police, but can Tony, from whom Scott stole this double-edged discovery, come to his rescue? And what about Scott's girlfriend Linda Davis (Lee Meriwether), whom Scott earnestly wishes to marry, even though he realises that it's only his brother Tony that she has eyes for? Let's just say that the ending of this film is not at all what I'd been expecting, instead providing a deliberately novel twist.

The version of 4D Man that I viewed apparently had a scene missing, in which Scott reportedly attacks a gang of thugs in a sleazy bar to devastating effect, but it is still an engrossing watch, spoilt only by an incessant and very loud jazz soundtrack that resolutely plays on, and on, and on, interminably, even in the most inopportune and inappropriate moments, thus destroying any sense of suspense or drama, which is a great shame. By contrast, the special effects are very good for the late 1950s, readily accomplishing the several 'walking through walls' scenes and other 'slipping through solid matter' set pieces that are integral to this movie's central storyline.

Apart from Lee Meriwether, who was making her film debut here, but whom I most readily recall as Catwoman in the 1960s movie version of the popular Batman TV show starring Adam West (and in which Catwoman was initially played by Julie Newmar, later by Eartha Kitt), none of the actors or actresses were overly familiar to me. Nevertheless, they put in perfectly acceptable performances, in particular a very intense, driven interpretation by Lansing (for whom this was his film debut too) as the principal protagonist. Interestingly, Lansing wouldn't have been given the part had the original choice for it not been so difficult to work with that he was summarily dropped – a certain Steve McQueen…

All in all, I found 4D Man to be an unusual, memorable sci fi movie, which I'm very glad to have learned about and watched. And if you'd like to view an atmospheric official trailer for it on YouTube, be sure to click here.

To view a complete comprehensive listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

MONSTER HUNTER (2020)

 

Publicity poster for Monster Hunter (© Paul W.S. Anderson/Constantin Films/AB Digital Pictures/Tencent Pictures/Toho/Sony Pictures/Screen Gems – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

On 27 February 2022, my movie watch, which had been recommended to me a few days previously by Facebook friend Thomas Finley, was the fairly recent movie Monster Hunter (not to be confused with various earlier, entirely unrelated films of the same title), a live-action/CGI big-screen sci fi/fantasy extravaganza based upon the eponymous series of Capcom video games.

Directed, written, and co-produced by Paul W.S. Anderson, and released in 2020 through Screen Gems by Sony Pictures, Monster Hunter is all about a squad of U.N. soldiers who are seeking some missing troops in an unnamed desert but become  caught up in a bizarre lightning storm that acts as a space-time portal, instantaneously transporting them to another world in another dimension. There, all but one are swiftly killed by various terrifying monsters, including a ferocious and unutterably ginormous sand-dwelling horned horror aptly called the diablos (depicted in the Monster Hunter publicity poster opening this present review of mine), and an immense cave-dwelling horde of hideous gigantic arachnid-like monstrosities called nerscyllas that skin-crawlingly combine the worst features of spiders and scorpions, which is really saying something!

The squad's sole survivor, U.S. Army Ranger Captain Natalie Artemis (played by Milla Jovovich), teams up with a lone indigenous warrior, Hunter (Tony Jaa), and they duly help each other survive the terrrors that this (very) strange new world contains before eventually reaching Hunter's home.

Just before they do, incidentally, Artemis and Hunter encounter a placid herbivorous herd of very sizeable but thoroughly delightful beasts named apceros that resemble highly improbable hybrids of giant tortoises and ankylosaur dinosaurs. Also making an appearance is a far less placid plesiosaur-like water monster that lunges ferociously at an unsuspecting Artemis when she approaches the deceptively tranquil expanse of water in which it is concealed. Despite being highly amused by her shock reaction, Hunter swiftly uses one of his arrows to good effect to save the day – and Artemis!

Once inside the shelter of Hunter's abode, Artemis makes the grudging acquaintance of (after being temporarily imprisoned by) a non-nonsense hunter leader known as The Admiral (Ron Perlman), plus his humanoid feline cook (Aaron Beelner), who is a member of the sentient Palico species. Together with Hunter, this odd couple endeavour to set things right by assisting Artemis to defeat a monstrous dragon-like fire-breather called a rathalos that loses no time in threatening their very existence.

This daunting winged monster is the guardian of an immensely tall, mysterious edifice in the desert known as the Sky Tower, which was built long ago by the first civilization to develop the technology for travelling between worlds via the portals.

Unfortunately, however, the rathalos not only survives their attempt to slay it, but also actually manages to enter our own world via an open portal. Trouble! Fortunately, Artemis and Hunter are able to pursue it into our world too via the same portal, and successfully dispatch it – but then a second, black dragon, known as Gore Madala, appears!

Monster Hunter boasts some spectacular special effects, especially those showcasing its array of very unusual and highly original monsters (except for the rathalos, which looks very like the wyvern Smaug from The Hobbit movie trilogy). However, no sooner has it presented its climactic rathalos confrontation and the arrival of Gore Madala than the movie abruptly ends! Clearly, therefore, this is intended as the first film in a future movie franchise.

For me, Monster Hunter is great fun, and no doubt for other creature feature fans too, as long as you are not arachnophobic, that is – those nerscyllas truly are the stuff of nightmares, especially as they rear their young by impregnating living humans with them, in best/worst Alien tradition (and graphically shown in the film). You have been warned!

If you can stomach it (sorry!), be sure to click here to watch an action-packed official trailer for Monster Hunter on Y0uTube – or (if you hate spiders, scorpions, or both) don't!

To view a complete comprehensive listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

Photographic still depicting a nerscylla, from Monster Hunter (© Paul W.S. Anderson/Constantin Films/AB Digital Pictures/Tencent Pictures/Toho/Sony Pictures/Screen Gems – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

 

CRYSTAL FAIRY AND THE MAGICAL CACTUS

 

The official UK DVD of Crystal Fairy & The Magical Cactus (© Sebastián Silva/Content Media/Dirorir0/Fabula/IFC Films – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

On 22 July 2022, my DVD movie watch was a decidedly 'out there' (but what had initially promised to be an at least ostensibly intriguing) Chilean road movie memorably entitled Crystal Fairy & The Magical Cactus (I told you it was 'out there'!).

Directed and written by Chilean director/actor/writer/painter/musician Sebastián Silva (who also plays minor character Lobo), and released in 2014 by IFB Films, Crystal Fairy & The Magical Cactus is (allegedly!) a comedy, all about a young Chile-visiting American named Jamie (played by Michael Cera, visually recalling a young Gene Wilder) and his fervent desire to track down a specimen of the famous San Pedro cactus Echinopsis pachanoi, a tall columnar species from which he can then extract the hallucinogenic substance mescaline and experience its well-documented psychotropic effects.

These are said to take the imbiber to a higher plane of consciousness and open, as Aldous Huxley famously entitled his autobiography, the doors of perception (and from which in turn Jim Morrison's 60s rock group The Doors took their name).

Anyway, Jamie is accompanied on his trek by three Chilean brothers – Champa, Lei, and Pilo (see later for the actors' names) – who, to varying degrees, wish to experience some mescaline moments too. Also joining them, after having been rashly invited to do so by Jamie during a drug-addled party the night before their trek begins, is a New Age-besotted young woman (played by Gaby Hoffmann) who calls herself Crystal Fairy and soon drives the four guys to distraction with her bizarre beliefs and behaviour.

Equally frustrating is that specimens of the required cactus are spotted growing in several locals' gardens during their search, but none of the owners will sell to Jamie and company even a small portion of one. So finally, in desperation, Jamie resorts to a spot of covert misappropriation (ok, theft!) in order to achieve their goal. Victorious at last, they travel on with their much-prized, purloined cactus portion until they reach a lonely desert beach, where they plan to make not only camp but also some long-awaited mescaline-infused magic brew.

Assuming that we would be entering classic Carlos Castaneda territory but expressed visually rather than verbally, I was now looking forward to all manner of colourful animated on-screen portrayals of their psychedelic hallucinations – an eye-blistering fusion of styles forgathered from the likes of Fantasia, Yellow Submarine, Allegro Non Troppo, and Fritz the Cat would have worked very well indeed here, I feel.

But no, nothing at all – just a few moans from Jamie about his voice sounding strange, and feeling hot'n'dizzy. End of. What a swizz, not to mention a major lost opportunity to bring some much-needed, long-remembered flamboyance and flair to this very middling muddy movie!

Instead, under the influence of their drugged concoction the five travelling companions in a very low-key manner simply begin to open up to one another, accepting their differences and putting them aside in favour of a modicum of friendship. And that's it – roll the credits! Had the movie actually built up to any kind of climax beforehand, I'd say that its ending was by comparison a definite anti-climax, but it didn't, so I shan't. Despite being referred to as "hilarious" in some reviews and accounts that I have read, laughs were few and far between as far as I was concerned, and tended to be of the embarrassing, cringe-worthy type rather than the genuinely funny kind. Each to their own, no doubt.

Turning to the characters themselves: I do have a lot of time for New Age ideology, but Crystal Fairy proved just as exasperating to me as she did to her companions (apparently she was actually based upon a real person, known to the director, which is a scary thought!). True, once her mind is loosened (even more than it already was!) by the effects of mescaline, she reveals a tragic, traumatic past that may explain her extreme eccentricities, but this revelation occurs far too late in the movie to ameliorate or cancel from the viewer's memory all of her earlier inanities. Equally, Jamie came across as a thoroughly unpleasant, priggish obsessive, boorish and bad-mannered in the extreme, whom I found impossible to like or even empathize with.

As for the trio of brothers: for the most part they exhibited zero screen charisma, and shared neither fraternal camaraderie nor even much in the way of physical appearance. Yet, ironically, the actors playing them are brothers in real life – Juan Andrés Silva as Champa, José Miguel Silva as Lei, and Agustin Silva as Pilo (not sure if they're related to the director, another Silva). One brother was tall, dark and handsome, one was tall and handsome, and one was tall – that's all.

My overall verdict on Crystal Fairy & The Magical Cactus? I'm aware that some film fans absolutely adore this movie, and that its director even won an award for it – but for me, that's 99 minutes of my life and 50p of my money (the price I paid for this movie's DVD) that I'll never get back! Where's Don Juan when you need him, that's what I say!!

Having said that, however, you may think differently, so if you'd care to take a brief trip by proxy with Crystal Fairy and co, please click here to view an official trailer for this magical(?) mescaline tour.

To view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

Publicity poster for Crystal Fairy & The Magical Cactus (© Sebastián Silva/Content Media/Dirorir0/Fabula/IFC Films – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)