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Sunday, October 24, 2021

CRANK & CRANK 2: HIGH VOLTAGE

 
The official UK DVDs of Crank and Crank 2: High Voltage (both movies © Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor/Lakeshore Entertainment/RadicalMedia (Crank only)/Lionsgate – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

On 16 June 2021, my evening's movie watch was one of the freebie DVDs that I'd picked up (literally!) yesterday morning at a car boot sale where they'd been discarded. Namely, Crank, a comedy/action movie starring Jason Statham, which I'd been wanting to see for ages – and what a great movie it was!

Directed and written by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, Crank was released by Lionsgate in 2006, and its central theme is rather like a human version of the vehicle in the Keanu Reeves/Sandra Bullock movie Speed. The lead character, played by Jason, is LA-based London-originating hitman Chev Chelios, who wakes up one morning to discover to his understandable alarm that he had been knocked unconscious the previous night and then injected by one of his criminal foes with a synthetic Chinese drug that inhibits adrenaline production, so that the victim's heart soon stops beating, permanently.

Chev learns from physician acquaintance Doc Miles (played by C&W singer Dwight Yoakam) that the only way to stay alive is to for him to keep active, extremely active, in order to stimulate enhanced adrenaline production.

Consequently, while attempting to track down and take major revenge upon his poisoner, Chev tries everything possible to keep his heart rate fast and pumping – manic car chases, near-suicidal motorbike rides while standing on the handlebars, consuming industrial quantities of coke (of both kinds!), and self-injecting shots of epinephrine that he steals from a hospital while causing total chaos all around him.

Chev's mayhem-inducing efforts ultimately reach a climax (in every sense!) when he vigorously indulges in some (very) public outdoor sex with his girlfriend Eve right in the middle of LA's Chinatown. As you'd expect, this certainly speeds up his heart, but dramatically slows down the traffic, as everyone crowds around to watch – hilarious! (Many of the observers, btw, were genuine passers-by, not actors, so their reactions and their expressions of surprise and laughter were real!)

I'd never seen Jason in a semi-comedy role before, but there is no doubt that he carries this one off with great aplomb, effortlessly combining surreal humour and violent excess to great effect (performing all of his own stunts and fight scenes too). Co-star Amy Smart as Eve is also memorable, her constant obsession with unimportant minutiae being a particular delight to behold, as when she insists upon pausing to turn off her electric waffle-maker before fleeing with Chev, despite a gang of gun-toting killers being in imminent proximity!

After watching Crank, I swiftly sought out its sequel, Crank 2: High Voltage, once again directed and written by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, released by Lionsgate in 2009, and beginning precisely where Crank ends. But if I thought that Crank was outrageous and eye-popping, I'd seen nothing yet!

 
Two publicity posters for Crank and Crank 2: High Voltage (both movies © Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor/Lakeshore Entertainment/RadicalMedia (Crank only)/Lionsgate – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Let's just say that Crank 2 is full of heart – Chev's, mostly, but not where it should be, inside his chest. Instead, it's now beating away merrily inside someone else's, having been surgically removed from an unconscious Chev immediately after the events of the first movie.

In its place an artificial short-lasting version has been implanted, which is keeping Chev alive for now, but not for long, unless he can keep charging it up with plenty of (very) high voltage while seeking out his own heart, and those who stole it from him (at which point this movie gives up all pretence of verisimiltude, and energetically, wholeheartedly embraces the frenetic fantasy realm of science fiction even more emphatically than its predecessor you have been warned!).

So Chev duly sets forth in a reality-defying, hurricane-force frenzy of relentless physical fury amply augmented with substantial helpings of OTT lunacy and hilarity, aided and abetted once more by an understandably bemused Eve, throughout which I strongly advise all viewers to not so much suspend disbelief as to lock it securely away and throw away the key! Fantastic fun and once again packed with awesome if at times mind-boggling action – including another session of al fresco friskiness between Chev and Eve, this time in the middle of a race course, with horses galloping by in dangerously close proximity!

Crank 2 also features brief roles and cameos by a number of celebrities. These include Corey Haim, David Carradine (his final film appearance), Linkin Park's lead singer Chester Bennington, Dwight Yoakam reprising his role as Doc Miles, and even Ginger Spice herself, Geri Halliwell (now Horner). She plays Chev's mother, appearing alongside him in a flashback scene where he is still a youngster but no less rebellious even then than he is now as an adult. (In real life, Jason is actually 5 years older than Geri!)

Incidentally, if you're wondering what the relevance of these two movies' main title is to their theme of Chev needing to keep his body hyper-stimulated, crank is a slang name for methamphetamine, which is a powerful chemical stimulant of the central nervous system.

There have intermittent murmuring ever since the release of Crank 2 in 2009 that a Crank 3 movie will be made at some stage, and Jason Statham has been quoted as saying that he would love to do it, but as yet nothing has emerged.

Meanwhile: here and here are a couple of official trailers on YouTube to give you just the tiniest taster of the zany, wholly unrestrained mayhem that you can expect from Crank, Crank 2, and above all else Jason Statham, in excellent form as the transatlantically-transplanted London chav Chev.

To view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 
Jason Statham as Chev Chelios in Crank and Crank 2: High Voltage (both movies © Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor/Lakeshore Entertainment/RadicalMedia (Crank only)/Lionsgate – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)
 

Thursday, October 21, 2021

ATOR: THE FIGHTING EAGLE

 
The official UK VHS video of Ator: The Fighting Eagle (© Joe D'Amato/Filmarage/Metaxa Corporation/Thorn Video – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Last night I paid another nostalgic visit to those long-gone good old days of video rental shops and the wonderful movies that could be hired from them but which are rarely if ever screened anywhere on TV nowadays, and often have not even been given a DVD or Blu-Ray release. For the movie that I watched is a classic from that bygone age, one whose cover I so well recall seeing on countless occasions in such shops, but which I somehow never got around to renting, despite its sword-&-sorcery (S&S) genre being a favourite of mine. But after recently purchasing it in UK VHS video format from a fellow video enthusiast, I've watched it now, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The movie? Ator: The Fighting Eagle.

Directed and co-written by Joe D'Amato, and released in 1982, this Italian fantasy movie stars a youthful but muscular Miles O'Keeffe as the titular Ator, who in physical form is definitely cast from the classic Conan/He-Man/Deathstalker/Beastmaster mould of mystical warrior-hero. Moreover, the entire film comes across as being very much a S&S movie-by-numbers. Or, at the risk of mixing metaphors, a big-screen fantasy created by diligently following the standard cinematic recipe for such productions, the result of adding all of their principal ingredients, shaking them up and stirring them together, then screening the end product.

Thus we have the stereotypical pumped-up warrior-hero seeking to fulfill his noble, long-prophesied destiny, a glamorous and often feisty female companion whom he has rescued early on in the movie, various magical weapons to assist his endeavours, an evil ruler or despot needing to be conquered for peace and happiness to be restored to the land, a loved one abducted by said ruler/despot and therefore needing to be rescued by the hero, a shocking betrayal by a trusted ally, the hero temporarily distracted by some feminine wiles and witchcraft (literally!), sundry monsters to be slain along the way, and said ruler/despot duly vanquished in the final reel. And sure enough, in Ator: The Fighting Eagle, every one of those requirements is indeed met and ticked off on its itinerary of must-haves and must-dos.

Yet although this movie may be short on originality and imagination, I still found it enjoyable, enhanced in no small way by O'Keeffe's sympathetic portrayal of Ator as earnest and likeable rather than the arrogant, dour, overbearing figure that this particular category of fantasy character is all too often portrayed as in films such as this. Sabrina Siani as Ator's formidable Amazon sidekick Roon is always entertaining too, and I was startled to discover when reading the end-credits that Ator's trainer, the elderly, mysterious Griba, was played by none other than Edmund Purdom, hitherto known to me only as Prince Karl the handsome student prince in the 1954 movie version of Sigmund Romberg's eponymous musical, lip-synching to the glorious singing voice of Mario Lanza.

Ator's antagonist is an ancient spider-worshipping cult, fronted by a decidedly creepy arachnofetishist in the shape of its high priest, who delights in spending his entire screen time letting hairy tarantulas crawl all over him. As for the cult, it has been subjecting the land to an enduring reign of terror for the past millennium, so the scene that I was particularly looking forward to viewing was the long-awaited battle to the death between Ator and the Ancient One – a colossal cavern-dwelling spider whom the cult had worshipped since time immemorial.

Imagine my disappointment, therefore, when I discovered that the entire fight scene had been shot not with the mega-spider face-on to the camera, but instead with the camera positioned behind and above it, so that whereas we get a detailed full-face view of Ator attacking it, all that we see of the spider itself (other than a few split-seconds showing it emerging from its gargantuan cavern before battle commences) is the uppermost portion of its back and the back of its head plus a few flailing legs.  Never once do we see its face or its full form as seen from the front.

Equally, whereas various publicity posters for this film that I've seen depict Ator fighting a huge, fang-flaring serpent, such a creature was conspicuous only by its absence in the movie that I watched last night. So has the English version been abridged from the original Italian, with the snake scene deleted? I think that we should be told. By way of compensation, there is an indescribably cute black bear cub that loyally follows Ator wherever he goes, although I am intrigued as to why the fur on top of its head is pale grey.

All in all, Ator: The Fighting Eagle is a pleasant enough if fairly uneventful S&S adventure, with most of the magic & monster elements confined to the latter stages of its storyline. Regrettably, it is somewhat short on the kind of dry, tongue-in-cheek humour that often provides a welcome, diverting source of light relief in this kind of action-heavy fantasy flick (think The Barbarians or Deathstalker II, for instance). Equally, its absence of gore in battle scenes renders it decidedly innocuous and inoffensive by today's blood-drenched standards, but as someone who has always considered gore and splatter scenes to be largely unnecessary and decidedly unimaginative to the point of being downright lazy anyway, I have no problem with that.

Finally: three Ator movie sequels also exist, but I have so far only tracked down the first of them, Ator the Invincible (aka The Blade Master), released in the USA in 1984. The other two are Ator 3: Iron Warrior (1987), and Ator 4: Quest For The Mighty Sword (1990).

Meanwhile, click here to view an official trailer for Ator: The Fighting Eagle on YouTube.

To view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

MR PIPER

 
Two screenshots from Mr Piper, starring Alan Crofoot in the title role (© Martin Andrews/Allan Wargon/Pied Piper Films Ltd/Independent Television Corporation/World Wide Distribution – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Time for another of my rare forays beyond the big-screen world of the movies into the small-screen but no less fascinating world of TV. Today, after almost 60 years on from my first viewing of it, I am revisiting what for me will always be a wonderful, uniquely special TV show.

What is the very first TV show that you can remember watching? In my case, it is the truly magical but nowadays all-but-forgotten children's show to which this present blog article of mine is devoted – Mr Piper.

Created in Toronto, Canada, by Martin Andrews and Allan Wargon in 1960, and with Wargon also serving as its executive producer,  Mr Piper was a 25-min show that was originally screened by CBC Television in Canada in 1963, and was also shown on ITV in the UK during the 1960s, initially in its entirety, but when reshown here during the 1970s it was split into two 12.5-min shows (see later for more details). It takes its name from its central character and narrator, the somewhat stout, ever-cheerful, and totally magical Mr Piper, played by Canadian actor/opera singer Alan Crowfoot, and clearly inspired both in costume and in concept by the Pied Piper of Hamelin of European folklore. But whereas the latter used dark enchantments to lure children away from their parents and homes, TV's Mr Piper used his sunny enchantments to lure children into spending a happy, fun-filled time watching his joyful and also subtly educational show, which I absolutely loved as a small child in the early 1960s, viewing it with Mom on ATV, ITV's now long-gone West Midlands regional channel.

Incidentally, there is some controversy in online coverages of Mr Piper regarding the total number of episodes that were made and screened, with claims ranging from 13, 14, or 15, right up to as many as 39. However, my own memories tally with 15 episodes (39 episodes seems far too high a number, unless the subsequently-screened 12.5-min split versions of the original 25-min ones are also being included in this count, i.e. as separate episodes in their own right?).

Moving on, here is a breakdown of the Mr Piper show's fondly-remembered format. Each episode would begin with Crofoot as Mr Piper very tunefully singing over its animated opening titles what is unquestionably one of the catchiest TV theme songs ever written. Although I last watched this show on TV during the early 1970s, I have never forgotten that irrepressibly cheery song, and when, several years ago, I was delighted to be able to buy at long last a couple of DVDs containing a few segments (mostly Tele Tunes, see below) from various Mr Piper episodes, I discovered that I had indeed accurately remembered its theme song verbatim. If you'd like to hear it for yourself, click here to do so on YouTube.

 
Mr Piper singing his show's theme song inside his magical home, Pied Piper House, the setting for all of the Mr Piper episodes (© Martin Andrews/Allan Wargon/Pied Piper Films Ltd/Independent Television Corporation/World Wide Distribution – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

After the theme song ended, each episode would then consist of 4 wholly autonomous segments (each with its own director), which could therefore be shown in any sequence, but here in the UK they were always screened in the following one (in Canada, they were apparently shown in a different sequence).

Segment 1 was 'Bag of Tricks', directed by Allan Wargon, during which Mr Piper would invariably get himself into all manner of humorous slapstick trouble when he pulled out of his big, polka-dotted, box-shaped bag of tricks a magical object (a different one in each episode). Memorably, he would always preface this segment with a short but relevant introductory statement, and point with his thumb or index finger to add emphasis, an action often accompanied by the sound of a single invisible bell ring, emphasizing the magical nature of what is about to happen. 'Bag of Tricks' was my favourite of the four segments per episode, so I was always glad that it was shown first within each episode screened here in the UK.

 
Mr Piper with his big polka-dot spotted bag of tricks (© Martin Andrews/Allan Wargon/Pied Piper Films Ltd/Independent Television Corporation/World Wide Distribution – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Segment 2 was 'Tele Tunes', directed by James Mackay, in which Mr Piper would narrate a fairy story, usually a traditional folktale from somewhere in Europe or from the Arabian Nights. It would be accompanied by a visual portrayal of the story using (very) limited but nonetheless charming animation, and end with Mr Piper drawing forth a worthy moral from the tale. I was to learn many years later that in much of the USA, the Tele Tune cartoons were the only segments broadcast from episodes of Mr Piper, so that viewers there were entirely unaware that each episode originally contained three other segments too. Crofoot would provide some of the character voices, with others provided by an uncredited Billie Mae Richards.

 
A scene from a Tele Tune cartoon segment entitled 'Ali Baba' (© Martin Andrews/Allan Wargon/Pied Piper Films Ltd/Independent Television Corporation/World Wide Distribution – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Segment 3 was 'Port of Call' (whose director is not presently known to me), the most educational segment, in which Mr Piper would narrate documentary-style film footage about cultures from around the world as seen through the eyes of their children. Once again, this was very charmingly conceived and presented, but due to its distinct lack of either magic or animals, I'm ashamed to say that I personally found it to be the least interesting of the quartet of segments per episode of Mr Piper. Even at that tender age, it was clear that my future career leanings were not going to point towards any sociological or anthropological aspirations!

 
A scene from a Port of Call segment featuring a Hong Kong boat-dwelling family (© Martin Andrews/Allan Wargon/Pied Piper Films Ltd/Independent Television Corporation/World Wide Distribution – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Much more to my liking, conversely, was Segment 4, entitled 'Animal Farm', and directed by Vincent Vaitiekunas. Reminiscent of another popular 1960s children's TV show, the UK's Tales From the Riverbank, it was a very sweet vignette featuring several small animals inside a tiny barnyard, who would be talking to one another with human voices, mostly supplied by Crowfoot (plus some by Richards again), and involved in all manner of adventures. All of the animals had alliterative names, with my favourite animal being a beautifully-marked black and white pet rat called Rupert. Others that I could still readily recall even before chancing upon the above-mentioned Mr Piper DVDs some years ago include Kookie the Kitten, Harriet the Hen, and Bessie the Bunny.

 
Rupert the Rat from an Animal Farm segment (© Martin Andrews/Allan Wargon/Pied Piper Films Ltd/Independent Television Corporation/World Wide Distribution – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Finally, albeit not a full-length segment in its own right, usually being interposed between the end of Segment 4 and the show's closing credits instead, was a brief scene featuring a talking scarlet macaw named Polly who in each episode would poses a different taxing riddle for Mr Piper to solve. She would always begin by uttering the line: "Piper – fiddle diddle, here's a riddle", to which Mr Piper variously replied: "All right, Polly" or "What is it, Polly?" She would address him in a somewhat imperious, peremptory manner as "Piper", and squawk with triumphant laughter when he invariably failed to work out the answer to her riddle. Here’s one of them: "When is it correct to eat with a knife, fork, AND spoon?" I'll leave you to puzzle over that while reading the remainder of this review (but if you can't wait that long, the answer is revealed at the end of the review).

 
Mr Piper and Polly (© Martin Andrews/Allan Wargon/Pied Piper Films Ltd/Independent Television Corporation/World Wide Distribution – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

There are 15 different Tele Tune segments known to exist (another reason for believing that there were 15 original full-length episodes of Mr Piper in total), and these can be variously found online on YouTube, DailyMotion, etc, as well as on various DVD releases. However, few examples of the other three segments apparently still survive, sadly.

When Mr Piper was rescreened in the UK during the 1970s, the original 4-segment, 25-min episodes were now screened in split format, as 2-segment, 12.5-min episodes. Each of these half-length versions either contained one Segment 1 and one Segment 2, or one Segment 3 and one Segment 4. Obviously, me being me, with an abiding love of magic and cartoons, I preferred those half-length versions that contained Segments 1 and 2.

Until I purchased the DVDs, I'd never seen Mr Piper in colour (back in the 1960s and early 1970s when it was being screened, we still had a b/w TV set). So it was interesting and also pleasing to discover when watching the DVDs that the principal shades which featured, especially in Segment 1, were pastel greens, ochre, russets, and browns, nothing garish or gaudy, which would have been so out of place in this very tasteful, thoroughly genteel, and gentle, little show.

 
Mr Piper and Pals is one of the two Mr Piper DVDs that I own – this one contains a selection of the Tele Tune cartoon segments from various episodes of Mr Piper (© Martin Andrews/Allan Wargon/Pied Piper Films Ltd/Independent Television Corporation/World Wide Distribution/East West Entertainment LLC – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Prior to the coming of the internet, I'd been wholly unable to locate any mention of Mr Piper in any book or magazine that I'd ever read through in search of information concerning it, and it was only my exceptionally detailed, and happy, memories of it (plus those of my mother, who'd watched it with me) that convinced me that the show had indeed existed, and was not a product of my extremely fertile imagination as a child! But scattered in cyberspace are various details and a few rare screenshots too, plus the Tele Tune segments, thereby reinforcing the internet's invaluable nature as a source of information if utilised carefully.

Consequently, my online perusals finally revealed what had long been for me the hitherto-cryptic identity of the man who had played Mr Piper. He was Alan Crofoot, who, as already mentioned here, was a Canadian actor and classically-trained opera tenor. He had performed well-received roles in several major operas, such as Puccini's Tosca, Smetana's The Bartered Bride, Richard Strauss's Salome, and Offenbach's Orpheus in the Underworld (click here to hear him on YouTube in the dual role of John Styx/Charon the Ferryman singing 'King of the Boeotians' from Offenbach's afore-mentioned opera when staged in London by the famous Sadler's Wells Opera Company in 1960), as well as in stage productions of the smash-hit musicals Oliver! in London's West End and Man of La Mancha on Broadway. Moreover, Crowfoot had also starred in several Western movies and in a wide range of notable TV shows, the latter including Encounter, Quest, The Forest Rangers, Police Surgeon, NET Opera Theater, and The Great Detective.

 
A photograph of Alan Crofoot when not playing his most famous, beloved TV role as Mr Piper (public domain – from the Toronto Star Photograph Archive, click here for further details regarding this photo)

Like I say, the internet is certainly a marvelous tool, enabling me to uncover information that had previously proved undiscoverable – but sometimes it can also yield information that I'd have preferred not to have uncovered. So it was with Mr Piper, for during my researches into this much-loved show, I was both shocked and extremely saddened to discover that Alan 'Mr Piper' Crofoot had committed suicide, in 1979, aged just 49. It was seemingly a tragic consequence of his inadvertent mixing of alcohol with blood pressure tablets. These tablets had previously sent him into fits of depression, and, exacerbated by alcohol drunk with them by him the night before, they apparently led Crofoot during the early morning of 5 March 1979 to jump to his death from the window of his fifth-floor hotel room in Dayton, Ohio – where he had been due to direct the Dayton Opera Company's production of Salome.

Such a tragic, terrible fate for someone who had always seemed so jolly and carefree in his Mr Piper persona, and who had brought so much happiness and joy to so many children, including me, down through the years, as well as to opera and stage musical aficionados, and to TV and movie buffs. May you rest in peace, Alan Crofoot, secure in the knowledge that even if Mr Piper is not widely known nowadays, with you as its star and genial title character it remains very fondly remembered and treasured in the memories of those of us who were fortunate enough to watch you in this warm-hearted, inspiring show back in its day, and which, by being both entertaining and educational, was far ahead of its time in the history of children's TV shows, a precursor of Play School and many others that have deftly combined fun and facts.

 
How I shall always remember Alan Crofoot, as Mr Piper (© Martin Andrews/Allan Wargon/Pied Piper Films Ltd/Independent Television Corporation/World Wide Distribution – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

If this nostalgic blog article of mine (containing the most detailed Mr Piper coverage anywhere online) can help in however small or large a way to bring Mr Piper, and Mr Crowfoot, to the attention of modern generations of small-screen and music fans alike, I shall be very happy, and honoured.

Several of the Tele Tune cartoon segments from episodes of Mr Piper can be viewed on YouTube (here, here, here, and here, for example), and are preceded by this show's thoroughly charming theme song.

Finally, I was pleasantly surprised to see a brand-new jumbo-sized Mr Piper fridge/freezer/locker magnet for sale on ebay recently, for just £1.99 plus p&p. Did I buy it? What do you think!! And here it is, a precious physical memento of my first-ever TV experience – and which remains to this day my all-time favourite TV experience too:

 
My jumbo-sized Mr Piper fridge/freezer/locker magnet (photograph © Dr Karl Shuker)

And the answer to Polly's earlier riddle? "When you're hungry!" Speaking of which: Polly's riddles were clearly an acquired taste!

To view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film/TV reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 
Rupert the Rat, Kookie the Kitten, and Bessie the Bunny, in a scene from an Animal Farm segment of an episode of Mr Piper (© Martin Andrews/Allan Wargon/Pied Piper Films Ltd/Independent Television Corporation/World Wide Distribution – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)