WHEN THE QUIFF WAS KING

 

Front cover of my official VHS sell-thru videocassette of When The Quiff Was King (© Ashley Sidaway/Best of British Films and Television Ltd/M.C.E.G. Virgin Vision (U.K.) Ltd – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

On 26 September 2022, nursing a pounding headache that evening, I decided to relax by watching not a movie as such but instead a recently-purchased VHS sell-thru video compilation. Created by Ashley Sidaway, released in 1990 by M.C.E.G. Virgin Vision, and with a running time of 55 minutes, it was entitled When The Quiff Was King, which contains a diverse selection of no fewer than 26 song-featuring scenes from classic British rock'n'roll movie musicals from the late 1950s and the 1960s.

Some of these movies, such as various Cliff Richard ones like Summer Holiday and The Young Ones, are still famous today, whereas others like These Dangerous Years (starring Frankie Vaughan), Tommy the Toreador and It's All Happening (two longstanding favourites of mine, both starring Tommy Steele), and The Ghost Goes Gear (Spencer Davis Group), somewhat less so.

Yet all of them in my eyes – and ears – remain just as fantastic today as they were way back then, when they were the soundtrack to my youth. So I felt the years (not to mention my aches and pains!) slip away as I watched and listened to them, drifting back to the golden age of my childhood when I had my family around me, with so much of my life and theirs still to experience, and long before mobile phones and the internet (wonderful inventions though they are) had appeared on the scene.

Instead, there was music with melodies, foot-tapping rhythms, and lyrics that actually rhymed – remember them? And unforgettable performers like The Shadows, The Hollies, Billy Fury, Lulu, Dusty Springfield, Freddie & The Dreamers, Shane Fenton (who reinvented himself in the 1970s as Alvin Stardust), and Lonnie Donegan, not forgetting of course the various other artists already mentioned by me above. And as all of these, plus many more, are present on this superb video compilation, I was guaranteed a very enjoyable, nostalgic evening of superb sound and vision. Bliss!

Such a shame, therefore, that at least as far as I'm aware, this wonderful compilation has never been re-issued on DVD – but if like me you still own a VCR, and if again like me you hanker back to British rock'n'roll at its very best, be sure to look out for it online, as it quite often appears for sale at reasonable prices on various internet auction sites.

Meanwhile, however, you can get a free taster of what to expect by clicking here to view on YouTube a mini-compilation of excerpts from When The Quiff Was King.

Finally: to view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

Back cover of my When The Quiff Was King video, providing a complete listing of the 26 song-featuring clips contained on it – please click picture to enlarge it for reading purposes (© Ashley Sidaway/Best of British Films and Television Ltd/M.C.E.G. Virgin Vision (U.K.) Ltd – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

 

THE BATTLE OF THE MODS (aka CRAZY BABY)

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hoto-still of Ricky Shayne as Ricky Fuller in The Battle of the Mods (© Franco Montemurro/Roxy Film/Ultra Film/GG Productions – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only

On 6 December 2023, my movie watch was a strange little cinematic offering – a gritty mid-1960s Italian/German film musical overdubbed in English and variously entitled The Battle of the Mods or Crazy Baby upon release, but nowadays wholly obscure.

Directed by Franco Montemurro, and released in 1966, The Battle of the Mods stars 60s European music star Ricky Shayne as mod guitar player Ricky Fuller residing in Liverpool until his girlfriend is fatally stabbed one Saturday evening when the club where he is performing becomes the scene of a vicious mods vs rockers battle.

 

Close-up of one of Ricky Shayne's LPs with his backing group The Skylarks (© Ricky Shayne and the Skylarks/ARC Records/RCA Victor Records – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Only narrowly escaping with his life, Ricky flees to France and thence to Italy, to meet in Rome his wealthy English consul father Robert B. Fuller (Joachim Fuchsberger), with whom he has not so much a frosty as a perma-frost longstanding relationship, and also his father's mistress, Sonia (Elga Andersen), with whom he has a much shorter but much more sizzling one!

In addition, Ricky makes some friends in Paris, Genoa, and Rome, survives various hairy encounters with a diverse selection of continental roughs and toughs, meets plenty of pretty young women, sings a lot of relatively tuneful albeit instantly forgettable pop/rock songs (opening the movie with its raunchy alternative title song, 'Crazy Baby') while playing his guitar, and ends his jounreying with a new girlfriend, Martine (Eleonora Brown). And that's about it.

 

Italian publicity poster for The Battle of the Mods (© Franco Montemurro/Roxy Film/Ultra Film/GG Productions – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only

Visually, The Battle of the Mods is a quintessential 1960s European musical flick, a movie sub-genre that generally appeals to me, but I found this particular example to be oddly unengaging, with its central character similarly aloof and emotionally detached.  Still, it passed 90 minutes easily enough, and at least I learnt of French-Lebanese singer/actor Ricky Shayne and his backing group The Skylarks, who collectively turned out to be a big act in continental Europe back in the day (especially in Germany), but not in the UK, which explains why I'd not previously heard of him, or them.

Lastly, Eurovision Song Contest fans may be interested to know that The Battle of the Mods features an appearance by Udo Jürgens, who had won the contest for Austria in the same year, 1966 (but just a few months earlier), when this movie was released.

 

Ricky Shayne playing guitar (public domain)

If you'd like to watch The Battle of the Mods for free on YouTube, pleae click here.

Finally: to view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

Publicity material for Ricky Shayne and the Skylarks (© unknown to me despite online searches – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

 

ROCK N' ROLL COWBOYS

 

Front cover of my big box ex-rental VHS videocassette of Rock N' Roll Cowboys (© Rob Stewart/Cinefunds Limited in association with Somerset Film Productions/Guild Home Video Limited – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Last night I watched a little-known Australian made-for-TV movie that I had only viewed once before, around 30 years ago, when I hired it from a video rental shop in the UK. Although screened on TV a few times here, as far as I am aware it has never been officially re-released in any other home viewing format (sell-thru video, DVD, Blu-Ray, etc), but a couple of years ago I was able to purchase one of the original UK big box ex-rental VHS videocassettes of it still in existence, and which plays perfectly. The movie in question is a totally surreal rock fantasy/horror film entitled Rock N' Roll Cowboys, and although I greatly enjoyed it when I watched it three decades ago (which is why I swiftly purchased its nowadays very hard to find video when chancing upon it recently), I freely confess that I couldn't make head or tail of what was supposed to be happening in it.

So when I decided to view this film again last night, I was interested to find out whether a second viewing would make everything clearer – but, guess what, I still have little idea of what it was all about! Here, though, is my best attempt at making some sense of this entertaining but thoroughly offbeat offering!

Directed by Rob Stewart, written by David R. Young, featuring an original rock soundtrack with songs co-written by the likes of David Skinner and former Status Quo member Alan Lancaster, and released in 1988 by Somerset Film Productions, Rock N' Roll Cowboys was originally screened as one of a series of Australian TV movies called Tomorrow's News. However, it was subsequently released on video as a stand-alone movie in its own right.

Before we even begin to examine its plot, my first issue with Rock N' Roll Cowboys is its title – why cowboys? Apart from a single brief scene featuring a TV cowboy, nothing in its storyline has any connection, literally or metaphorically, with cowboys, Westerns, or anything even remotely relevant to this genre as far as I could tell. Perhaps because words such as 'rebels' or 'outlaws' have been used so extensively in relation to rock'n'roll, its screenplay's writer Young decided to utilize this movie's very tenuous cowboy link as an alternative means of implying such characteristics?

Cowboys notwithstanding, the movie focuses upon a rock band whose effervescent lead singer, Teena Tungsten (played by Nikki Coghill), is dating its exceedingly arrogant lead guitarist Stevie Van Blitz (Greg Parke), who is also the band's song writer and self-appointed leader. Stevie is insultingly dismissive of their two roadies – the outward-going general fixer-upper Eddie (Peter Phelps), and the shy, introverted sound technician Mickey (David Franklin).

Mickey, the central character in Rock N' Roll Cowboys (and depicted on the cover of its big box video – see this present review's opening picture), is secretly in love with Teena and is also a talented songwriter who fantasizes about playing his own songs up on stage one day. In reality, conversely, he is completely passed over in this capacity by the band, most especially Stevie.

(Incidentally, although David Franklin plays the film's lead character, he receives second billing to top-billed Phelps, presumably because the latter had a greater acting profile, thanks at that time to his popular role as heart-throb hunk John Palmer in the long-running 1980s Aussie soap Sons and Daughters, plus his widely-acclaimed performance in the celebrated 1987 movie The Lighthorsemen.)

The band rehearses in a shoddy garage with very dodgy electrics, and when a circuit blows in the middle of one rehearsal, causing their instruments to lose power, Stevie storms off in a tantrum after blaming Mickey for not having checked the circuitry beforehand. With no chance of further rehearsals that night, the other band members follow him, leaving Eddie and Mickey behind – only for a couple of thrilling, willing groupies to appear on the scene, swiftly leading Eddie astray and away for a passionate threesome. Now alone in the garage, Mickey discovers a strange spiked sphere of unknown origin, but which, equally unknown to him, is what had caused the circuit to blow on this particular occasion, not the garage's ramshackle wiring.

Picking up the sphere, Mickey feels a shock of pain shoot through his head, and then hears strange music coming from a room above the garage. After a precarious climb up the drainpipe leading to the room, he is pulled inside by its occupant – a tall, decidedly singular-looking man of pallid complexion whose name is revealed to be Damien Shard (John Doyle). Unbeknownst to Mickey, Shard had purposefully sent the spiked sphere into the garage to disrupt the rehearsal and lure Mickey up to him.

Incidentally, is it just me (probably!), but has anyone else who has actually watched this nowadays largely forgotten tele-movie thought that whereas Shard bears something of a facial resemblance to UK TV presenter and comedian Paddy McGuiness, in general demeanour and dress style he more readily recalls a certain UK MP by the name of Jacob Rees-Mogg? (Now there's a composite image to toy with in the wee small hours!) Moreover, as if all of this were not enough to deal with, Shard subsequently turns up in one scene almost as if expecting to star in a vintage b/w screen musical, judging at least from his sartorial selection of top hat and tails, while twirling a cane like a facsimile Fred Astaire. All very strange, yet par for the course for such a weird and very wacky flick as this one!

 

Damien Shard (played by John Doyle) – would you hook your mind into a thought synthesizer invented by this man? (© Rob Stewart/Cinefunds Limited in association with Somerset Film Productions/Guild Home Video Limited – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

But I digress – back to the story. Shard shows Mickey his secret invention, which is the source of the music that Mickey had heard. Referred to by Shard as a psychotronic alpha sampler, it resembles a synthesizer, but when headphones are attached to it, their wearer can use it to produce music by the sheer power of his own thoughts, as Mickey discovers when Shard invites him to try it out.

Mickey is totally mesmerized by Shard's invention, so much so that he loses no time in contacting the band's manager, a sleazy OTT despot named Harvey Glutzman (Ben Franklin), given to gratuitous swastika decorations and debauched fantasies of the chains, whips, and hellfire variety (this character, incidentally, is meant to provide the movie's comic relief!), as well as the other band members, urging them to purchase it from Shard.

A meeting with Shard to make this happens proves unsuccessful, however, when, after he insists that it must be Mickey who plays his thought-controlled synthesizer, not the band's official keyboard player, James Dupont (Robin Copp), the band refuses, disparaging Mickey as a mere roadie, not a band member, which causes Mickey to temporarily quit in anger. Meanwhile, Dupont attempts to create his own version of Shard's invention, with disastrous results – emissions from it dramatically distort his thought processes, turning him mentally into a monkey!

Without a functional keyboard player now, the band has no option but to allow Mickey to play (and, in so doing, gaining the use of Shard's thought synthesizer, which Shard has donated to him). This he does to great success during a performance by the band aimed at procuring a record contract. However, Mickey is suffering more and more from terrible pains inside his head, enhanced by the strange spiky spheres turning up in his vicinity.

Moreover, events soon take an even more sinister, alarming turn when Shard is revealed to have an ulterior, decidedly non-altruistic reason for making his synthesizer available – but this is also where the movie's plot quite literally loses the plot, at least for me.

Flashbacks show Shard as a TV-watching young boy back in the early 1950s (judging from the primitive b/w TV featuring in these flashbacks). The TV is screening an ultra-conservative Sunday morning kids' show, in which its superficially genial cowboy-costumed host, Uncle Sam (Ron Blanchard), is telling the small children in his audience (whom he refers to as his Ponderosa Kids) that rock'n'roll is the devil's music, and is exhorting them to smash their older siblings' records – yee haa!

 

Peter Phelps as Eddie (left) and David Franklin as Mickey (right) in Rock N' Roll Cowboys (© Rob Stewart/Cinefunds Limited in association with Somerset Film Productions/Guild Home Video Limited – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Heavily influenced by Uncle Sam's insidious brainwashing, Shard has grown up to become a religious zealout who has specifically invented his thought synthesizer to destroy rock'n'roll music, by way of those who perform it, like Mickey and the band. For the synthesizer has been designed by Shard to inflict brain haemorrhages upon its unfortunate users, as he gloatingly informs a pain-racked Mickey. Nice.

From here onwards, the storyline runs amok, with a rock'n'roll party taking place for no apparent reason at a club owned by Shard, but where somehow his own music – a recording of the twee theme music to Uncle Sam's 1950s children's TV show – has hynotised the minds of everyone there, even the independent Teena.

Their only possible savior is Eddie, who has somehow been rendered deaf by one of Shard's pesky spiked spheres, and so, by being unable to hear the music, is unaffected by it. Consequently, he is able to knock out Shard not only physically but also aurally, by playing a particularly strident rock riff on an electric guitar, which stuns him. And that's about it, basically. Shard is vanquished, rock'n'roll lives to play another day, and, right at the end, a miraculously fully-recuperated Mickey gets Teena. But what about all of the abounding storyline inexplicabila and inconsistencies readily visible in Rock N' Roll Cowboys?

For example, the whole Shard master plan makes no sense whatsoever. After all, if he intends to eradicate rock'n'roll on a band by band basis, and even includes in his malign sights  such amateur, non-professional examples as the band at the heart of this movie, it's going to take an awfully long time, that's for sure!

Furthermore, the official Rock N' Roll Cowboys film trailer provides an explanation for Shard's heinous activities that is not even included in the movie itself. Namely, that he is a time-traveller from the future, where in his extreme opinion the world has been corrupted by rock'n'roll. So he travels back to our time to annihilate this music genre that he hates so much. This revelation goes some way to elucidating the otherwise perplexing claim in the plot summary on the reverse of this movie's video that Shard is a time-travelling cowboy, and would also explain his futuristic synthesizer and other creations. Yet it is a plot thread that appears nowhere in the actual movie – how bizarre is that? Consequently, I am wondering whether there may have originally been a scene revealing all of this back story but which was cut before the movie's release.

Every so often, a team of human figures wearing gas masks and yellow outfits resembling hazard-suits appear on the scene, seemingly employed by Shard but with no explanation ever given for their bizarre garb, and invariably failing in their hapless attempts to threaten whoever they encounter – so what are they all about? Were they also from the future, brought back to our time by Shard in order to assist him in his nefarious schemes?

And why, shortly after first meeting Mickey, does Shard say that he had seen him on TV, despite Mickey stating that he has never been on TV? That intriguing plot line is never pursued, so why was it included in the first place? Or did I miss something?

Also, if Mickey has already been inflicted with brain haemorrhages by Shard's infernal inventions (both the synthesizer and those spiked spheres) as Shard claims, how is he able to make a complete recovery once Shard is defeated? Equally, why does Mickey suddenly begin sneezing very noticeably, on several different occasions during the movie and even actively mentioned by other characters, yet without any significance or explanation ever being given concerning this odd yet distinctive plot development?

And how does Eddie's hearing suddenly return – assuming that it does? That highly significant aspect is never actually clarified – like so many other ostensibly noteworthy plot lines in this movie, after having been introduced it seems to have simply been forgotten about.

Faced with all of these anomalies, all  that I can suggest is that if you'd like to attempt for yourself to discover what on earth is happening in Rock N' Roll Cowboys, you can currently watch this entire movie free of charge on YouTube by clicking here. It may not make much sense, but Rock N' Roll Cowboys is a fun movie nonetheless, an oddity from Oz that every rock movie fan needs to embrace in all its marvelous madness!

To view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

Full cover of my big box ex-rental VHS videocassette of Rock N' Roll Cowboys (© Rob Stewart/Cinefunds Limited in association with Somerset Film Productions/Guild Home Video Limited – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

 

ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL

My official UK DVD of Rock 'N' Roll High School (© Alan Arkush/Roger Corman/New World Pictures – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

My DVD movie watch on 30 January 2022 was the full-length, uncut version of a Roger Corman classic – Rock 'N' Roll High School – the cult comedy rock musical starring pioneering US punk rock band The Ramones, alongside whom everything else was totally incidental.

Directed and co-written by Alan Arkush, with the afore-mentioned Corman as executive producer, and released in 1979 by New World Pictures, it is incredible, and also incredibly tragic, to think that Rock 'N' Roll High School was released 42 years ago now, and that of the four Ramones featuring in it – Joey, Johnny, Dee Dee, and Marky – three are now gone (only Marky remains with us). (Incidentally, 'Ramone' was not their real surname, just a stage name that they came up with; they were not actually related to each another.)

The storyline of this manic movie, which is set in and around the fictional Vince Lombardi High School (but filmed in a real-life closed-down Los Angeles school as well as in a school at Manhattan Beach, California), is the usual one of anarchy inside and outside the classroom, with everyone – but most especially rebellious student leader and Ramones über-fan Riff Randell (played by P.J. Soles) – far more interested in attending a local Ramones concert than lessons (understandable!).

In addition, Riff has written a song specifically for them that she is determined to hand directly to Joey Ramone. Its title? 'Rock 'N' Roll High School' of course! (Ironically, in real life P.J. Soles had never even heard of the Ramones before appearing in this movie!) And like all the best films, this one definitely goes off with a bang – albeit quite literally, when in its climactic sequence the entire school is blown up!

 

The Ramones with P.J. Soles (as Riff Randell) in Rock 'N' Roll High School (© Alan Arkush/Roger Corman/New World Pictures – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Rock 'N' Roll High School contains several totally surreal characters – Mrs Mouse, a human-sized female white mouse, being one (honestly!). However, I particularly enjoyed the evil (and, imho, spookily Jennifer Saunders-ish) Evelyn Togar – the new school principal and an avowed hater of rock music, who has been brought in to bring to this infamously low-achieving school some much-needed discipline (no hope of that here!). She is played in uproariously unhinged fashion by Mary Woronov, a frequent actress in Roger Corman movies.

Also worthy of mention is the captain of the school's American football team, Tom Roberts (Vince Van Patten), who in spite of his handsome looks and muscular physique is hilariously clueless when it comes to getting a girl. However, his obsession with talking constantly about the weather until his would-be paramour heads for the hills to escape his tedious tirade may have something to do with it!

Nor should we forget Eaglebauer (Clint Howard), a wholly illegal fixer-upper for the students who, inexplicably, is seemingly permitted by the school to operate his dodgy deals on site – indeed, from an office installed inside the students' toilet building!

As for the Ramones, who perform several of their own classic songs in Rock 'N' Roll High School as well as the title number (written by them), there is only one word to describe them – sensational! And in any case, how can you not love and respect a band whose lyrics from their song 'Teenage Lobotomy' include the wondrous rhyming couplet:

"Now I guess I'll have to tell 'em

That I got no cerebellum."

Fantastic!

Johnny Ramone in Rock 'N' Roll High School (© Alan Arkush/Roger Corman/New World Pictures – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

And yet, ironically, the Ramones were far from being the first choice of rock performers to star in Rock 'N' Roll High School. Todd Rundgren, Cheap Trick, Devo, Tom Petty, and Van Halen had all been considered before them, but for varying reasons no deal had been struck with any of them.

Then someone (accounts differ) suggested the Ramones, who, to the delight of massive Ramones fan Alan Arkush (this movie's director), agreed to appear – and the rest, as they say, is cinematic, and rock, history.

Also, once the Ramones were on board, the movie's original title, Disco High, was swiftly dropped, with Rock 'N' Roll High School instated in its place – a major mercy indeed!

In addition to the Ramones, this movie musical also features tracks from a number of other major contemporary acts. These include Paul McCartney and Wings, Fleetwood Mac, Brian Eno, the Paley Brothers, Eddie and the Hot Rods, Nick Lowe, Velvet Underground, Chuck Berry, Alice Cooper (singing – what else! – 'School's Out'), and Devo, plus Todd Rundgren (who allegedly has always regretted turning down the chance to star in it).

An early Ramones line-up, performing in Toronto, Canada, 1976; from left – Johnny, Tommy (on drums, replaced by Marky in 1978), Joey, and Dee Dee (© Plismo/Wikipedia – CC BY-SA 3.0 licence)

True, its storyline may be insubstantial, but what gives Rock 'N' Roll High School a lasting, inestimable value is that it constitutes a truly wonderful visual as well as musical record of the Ramones, capturing the band for all time at the very height of their fame and powerhouse performance flair. In short, it confers upon them an absolute immortality, in which they will never grow old, never fade away, but remain forever young, vital, and rocking as only the Ramones can!

In 1991, a Rock 'N' Roll High School sequel movie was released, entitled Rock 'N' Roll High School Forever, but set at a different school, not including the Ramones (except for a single track featuring Dee Dee), and presenting a whole new cast of characters. Notably, however, the Vice Principal is played by none other than Mary Woronov, although her character, Vadar, appears different from Principal Tagar in the original movie.

Moreover, plans to remake Rock 'N' Roll High School have been mooted for more than a decade now, but I personally hope that this never happens. After all, how could anyone possibly take the place of the Ramones in it? Or, to put this another way, how could anyone improve upon perfection?

If you'd like to experience some of the classroom chaos, anthemic anarchy, and Ramones rock'n'roll, be sure to click here  to watch an official Rock 'N' Roll High School trailer on YouTube, and here to watch the Ramones performing 'Do You Wanna Dance?' in it! Gabba Gabba Hey!

To view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

A fitting tribute: standing 8 ft tall and designed by Wayne Toth, the magnificent bronze Johnny Ramone cenotaph monument at Hollywood Forever Cemetery in Los Angeles, California – RIP Johnny, Rock In Perpetuity! (© Donmike10/Wikipedia – CC BY-SA 4.0 licence)