LORD OF THE ELVES (aka CLASH OF THE EMPIRES)

 

Publicity poster for Lord of the Elves aka Clash of the Empires (© Joseph Lawson/The Asylum – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Earlier tonight I watched my recently-purchased DVD of a movie that I'd only learnt about a few days previously. I know of at least three different titles for it (more about which later), but its most famous one, and which featured on its official DVD, is Lord of the Elves.

Directed by Joseph Lawson and released in 2013, Lord of the Elves is somewhat of a curiosity in terms of slotting comfortably into any well-established movie genre, because it seems unsure of whether to be a prehistory-themed docu-drama or a swords-and-sorcery fantasy. Instead, it opts to be both, at the same time, which makes for very unusual viewing to say the least. Suspension of disbelief is very highly recommended here, that's for sure!

Set 12,000 years ago on the Indonesian island of Flores (but actually filmed in Cambodia), this movie is nothing if not novel in that it focuses upon that island's fairly recently-discovered species of fossil mini-human Homo floresiensis, Flores Man, but which on account of its diminutive stature has become popularly known colloquially as the hobbit. Also represented here are the rock men, the name given in this movie to a second, larger species of fossil human, Homo (formerly Pithecanthropus) erectus or Java Man, plus a third species, the so-called giants, which in reality is our very own Homo sapiens or Modern Man. These species in turn represent three separate human empires that as far as this movie's plot is concerned are traditionally in conflict with each other, thus explaining its alternative title of Clash of the Empires. So far, so prehistoric.

But then we very swiftly and entirely unexpectedly switch from watching a film about competing fossil hominins to one that plunges headfirst into epic fantasy (or as epic as this low-budget Asylum-produced movie can stretch to) when we discover that the rock men ride around on giant winged monitor lizards that except for not breathing fire are basically dragons, and are even referred to as such by various characters in the film. And somewhere midway between fossils and fantasy straddle the likes of some earthbound but no less gargantuan monitor lizards that could chew up a real-life Komodo dragon with a single bite from their venomous teeth, plus a rampaging hairy rhinoceros that was clearly inspired far more by the woolly rhinoceros of Ice Age Eurasia than by this tropical southeast Asian region's native hairy rhino species, the Sumatran rhinoceros. There are also two immense, venom-spraying, cannibalistic spiders that are not recommended viewing for anyone with an aversion to arachnids.

The basic storyline for Lord of the Elves tells how the peace-loving, plant-eating, earth goddess-worshipping hobbits (in the H. floresiensis usage of this name, but which are also, confusingly, the elves referred to in one of this movie's titles) are regularly hunted down and seized as food by the rapaciously-carnivorous dragon-riding moon-worshipping rock men. (Incidentally, these latter entities exhibit a most unsightly, ill-fitting dentition of long pointed teeth that are decidedly unlike any human chompers that I've ever seen, and which make them look far more like vampire extras from Salem's Lot than anything known from the fossil record!)

Anyway, following one such incident, three brave hobbits are able to convince some of the equally carnivorous but rather more civilised sky-worshipping giants to join them on a hazardous quest into rock man territory in order to locate and free their recently-kidnapped hobbit kin - during which the afore-mentioned leviathanesque lizards and mega-spiders make their prodigious presence well and truly felt.

The only famous name to appear in Lord of the Elves is Christopher Judge (of Stargate SG-1 TV fame), who plays noble warrior Amthar, one of the giants who assist the hobbits in their bold quest. In terms of acting ability, Judge stands head and shoulders above the others metaphorically speaking too. The CGI monsters are by and large effective - the spiders a little too effective, to be honest - but overall this movie in my opinion never recovers from its fundamental identity crisis.

This in turn may possibly stem from the fact that Lord of the Elves was originally intended to be entitled Age of the Hobbits, the term 'hobbit' succinctly conveying both prehistoric and fantasy connotations. In 2012, however, Warner Brothers, who at that time was promoting its forthcoming trilogy of official Tolkien-sanctioned hobbit movies, was not best pleased about this title, and eventually commenced legal action against The Asylum on the grounds of trademark infringement, which resulted in the release of Age of the Hobbits being temporarily blocked. Following a title change, however, albeit to one that was still decidedly Tolkien-reminiscent, it was released in 2013.

Lord of the Elves is certainly a strange little movie (under 90 minutes long) in my view. Yet for me this is actually part of its charm, together with just enough action and sufficient monster moments to entertain.

If you'd like to watch an official Lord of the Elves trailer to visit the warring Flores folk and the ferocious fauna confronting them, be sure to click here.

And to view a complete listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE!

 

A MISSING LINK DOUBLE-BILL - SAME TITLE, TWO VERY DIFFERENT MOVIES!

Publicity poster for Missing Link (1988) and front cover of official DVD for Missing Link (2019) (© David and Carol Hughes/Universal Pictures; (© Chris Butler/Annapurna Pictures/Laika/Universal Artists/AGC – both images are reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Today's Shuker In MovieLand double-bill features two movies with the same title – Missing Link – but dramatically different formats and approaches, as will be seen.

MISSING LINK (1988)

The full cover for the official VHS videocassette of Missing Link, the live-action movie released in 1988 (© David and Carol Hughes/Universal Pictures – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

After rediscovering during the afternoon of 11 June 2020 the hitherto-unwatched (by me) Time Masters animated movie on one of a batch of old videocassettes that I'd taped various movies, TV shows, etc onto, back in the late 1980s and 1990s (click here to read my Time Masters review), I carried on going through them and found another unwatched gem of a movie - Missing Link, made in 1988, which I duly watched the following day, and what an awesome film it is.

Directed and written by David and Carol Hughes, Missing Link is produced in the style of a wildlife documentary with a voiceover narration by actor Michael Gambon. It is set in Africa one million years ago, and follows a voyage of discovery across this continent by a lone adult male 'man-ape' belonging to the early hominin species Australopithecus robustus. He is seeking others of his own species after having fled from the direct ancestors of ours, Homo sapiens, when his entire family was viciously slaughtered by them, leaving him as the only remaining representative of his species in that area.

This very unusual movie is more than a little reminiscent of another one that I watched not long ago, Jonathan Livingston Seagull (click here to read my Shuker In MovieLand review of it), in that although there is not a great deal of plot, the cinematography (again the work of the Hugheses) is absolutely spectacular. Missing Link was filmed on location in various Namibian national parks filled with iconic African fauna such as lions, elephants, giraffes, gazelles, zebras, mongooses, wildebeests, and those veritable avian locusts the red-billed queleas, whose immense flocks swarm and swirl through the sky like living composite super-organisms.

This memorable movie's unnamed, unconventional star – a lone surviving australopithecine ape-man (© David and Carol Hughes/Universal Pictures – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

The unnamed australopithecine is played by Peter Elliott, and the fur suit as well as the constructed head and face that transform him into the man-ape are very impressive indeed. Viewing this movie constantly reminded me of the much later TV documentary series Walking With Cavemen (first screened in 2003, it was a successor to the highly successful, ground-breaking Walking With Dinosaurs and Walking with Beasts series). Certainly, Missing Link was indeed far ahead of its time, but its lack of any major storyline or dialogue (other than Gambon's occasional words) probably explained why it was not a commercial success when released, and why it is seemingly not available on DVD. (Following its cinema debut, it was released in VHS videocassette format, examples of which are occasionally listed for sale online, but these are usually quite pricey.)

This is a great shame, because Missing Link is very deserving of being seen, as a tragic testament to how our ancestors almost certainly contributed to these distant relatives' eventual extinction - unless the mysterious agogwe, séhité, kakundakari, and certain other diminutive hairy man-beasts reported across Africa in modern times are relict survivors?

Offering a taster of the dramatic wildlife vistas and compelling content of Missing Link, here is an official trailer for this very different but definitely must-watch movie.

MISSING LINK (2019)

Photographic still for Missing Link, the animated feature film released in 2019, with Dora the Yeti Elder seen at far right (© Chris Butler/Annapurna Pictures/Laika/Universal Artists/AGC – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

I spent the evening movie-watching on my birthday last year, 9 December 2019, of which my favourite was the DVD of Missing Link.

Directed by Chris Butler, this delightfully droll animated crypto-classic from early 2019 tells the story of what is supposedly the very last sasquatch (a restrained but all the more hilarious vocal tour de force by Zach Galifianakis). Namely, a very sensitive male bigfoot named Susan (don't ask!), who hires adventurer Sir Lionel Frost (voiced with great aplomb by Hugh Jackman) to end his loneliness by transporting him to the Himalayas where he can be united with his nearest kin, the yetis. (Cryptozoological purists be warned: the yetis here are portrayed as having white fur, a traditional if mistaken representation, as according to local eyewitness reports these mystery man-beasts are actually brown- or red-furred.)

Along the way, they meet up with a former significant other of Sir Lionel, the feisty Adelina Fortnight (Zoe Saldana), and are pursued tenaciously by the evil henchmen of Frost's nemesis, the repressive, insane Lord Piggot-Dunceby (Stephen Fry). His obsessive goal is to prevent Frost's discovery of both Susan the bigfoot and the yetis of Shangri-La from ever becoming known to the world at large.

Speaking of which: my favourite character is the etiolated, secretive, and deliciously paranoid Yeti Elder, Dora, voiced with acerbic zeal by Emma Thompson. Also worth listening out for are Little Britain stars David Walliams as Lemuel Lint, Sir Lionel's former assistant, who barely escapes with his life from his ever-perilous role, and Matt Lucas as Mr Collick, the no-less neurotic assistant of Lord Piggot-Dunceby.

Publicity poster for Missing Link featuring the Loch Ness monster (© Chris Butler/Annapurna Pictures/Laika/Universal Artists/AGC – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Full of the dry, quip-driven humour that always appeals to me, but with a hefty dollop of good old-fashioned visual slapstick thrown in too, Missing Link also includes many spectacularly eyecatching scenes (one of which features fellow cryptid Nessie, the Loch Ness monster!), but none more so than the splendorous ice palaces and hidden valley of the yetis. Watching this charming movie was without a doubt a very enjoyable and highly entertaining way to pass a birthday evening.

To prove my assertion, here is a very funny official trailer for Missing Link – and here is another one!

And to view a complete listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE!

A version of this double-bill review of cryptozoology-themed movies can also be accessed here on my ShukerNature blog.