A KID FOR TWO FARTHINGS

 

Publicity poster for A Kid For Two Farthings (© Carol Reed/London Films/Romulus Films – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educationa/review purposes only)

In which film can you find a real-life world heavyweight boxing champion and a real-life world heavyweight wrestling champion, plus a future quantum physicist, a future mainstay of the Carry-On movies, and Britain's answer to Marilyn Monroe, not to mention the female star of one of the silver screen's most celebrated romantic 'weepies'? As I'll now explain in the following review, the answer is none other than a delightful British movie from the mid-1950s entitled A Kid For Two Farthings, which I watched earlier tonight.

Directed and co-produced by the legendary Carol Read, with the equally legendary Alexander Korda as co-producer, plus a screenplay adapted by Wolf Mankowitz from his own 1953 novel of the same title, and released in 1955 by Romulus Films, A Kid For Two Farthings centres upon a little boy named Joe (played by Jonathan Ashmore – more about him later) living in Petticoat Lane,  the wholesale/retail area of London's bustling East End, with his mother Joanna (Celia Johnson, she of the afore-mentioned weepie, which was of course Brief Encounter). Also present are their adult friends Sonia (Britain's very own blonde bombshell Diana Dors) and bodybuilder Sam (Joe Robinson, who in real life was the 1951 world heavyweight wrestling champion). Joe's father is working in South Africa as a prospector, but whether he will ever return to him and Joanna remains unanswered. In his absence, their elderly tailor neighbor and landlord Avrom Kandinsky (David Kossoff) keeps a friendly watchful eye over them, especially Joe, with whom he has a touching avuncular/grandfatherly relationship, telling him stories that more often than not the young impressionable Joe assumes to be true.

One of these is that there are still unicorns in this world but that they have all migrated to Africa, to escape persecution here in England that had been caused by the immense value of their single spiraled horns, which can grant all wishes. Sonia has been engaged to Sam for the past four years, but because he earns very little he has still not been able to buy her a ring, let alone give serious consideration to their getting married. Meanwhile, Joanna lives in unfulfilled hope that her husband, Joe's father, will one day come back home, and Mr Kandinsky is in sore need of an automatic steam press to enable him to take on more work. In short, everyone has wishes that they fervently hope will come true but have no realistic means of making them do so – until the unicorn arrives, or something rather like one.

While walking through the animal section of the local outdoor market one day, Joe spots a man walking a remarkable-looking animal on a lead in the hope of selling it someone. It resembles a small white kid (young goat – the movie's titular kid), but instead of possessing a pair of small lateral horns like normal kids, it bears a single small centrally-located one like unicorns are said to possess. Although in reality it is nothing more than a freak goat specimen (such creatures do occur occasionally in real life), infused with Mr Kandinsky's stories Joe fervently believes it to be a bona fide unicorn, and after a little haggling concerning its price he purchases the quaint little creature from its owner.

Re its price: allow me to explain the intriguing title of this movie (and originating novel). Joe offered the uni-goat's owner all the money that he had in his pockets – a grand total of three shillings and nine pence (roughly equivalent in today's UK decimal currency to 18p), which the creature's owner refused, stating that he'd rather kill it, eat its meat, and sell its hide. Desperate for that dreadful fate not to occur, Joe searched his pockets again, and found a single coin that he'd overlooked earlier – a ha'penny (the colloquial name commonly given to the halfpenny coin). So Joe offered that too, on top of his previous three shillings and nine pence – and this time the owner accepted and gave the uni-goat to Joe. Bearing in mind that the ha'penny had made all the difference between Joe not being able and then being able to buy the animal, you could say that in reality he'd bought it for a ha'penny. But that is not all: back in the 1950s, the decade in which this film was set (and released in reality), there was a very small, low-value coin still in British circulation that was known as a farthing, four of which were equal to one penny. Consequently, as two farthings were therefore equal to one ha'penny, two farthings had made all the difference as to whether the owner had sold the uni-goat to Joe. So, quite literally, Joe had successfully purchased it for two farthings – mystery solved!

 

The uni-goat from A Kid For Two Farthings (© Carol Reed/London Films/Romulus Films – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educationa/review purposes only)

From then on, beginning with small wishes, Joe implores his new pet to make them come true, and whether by coincidence or by cosmic indulgence, somehow they do. Sam, meanwhile, is coerced into taking up wrestling bouts as a means of earning money to buy Sonia her much-longed-for ring, climaxing in a grudge match against the villainous former wrestling champion Python Macklin (Primo Carnera, the real-life Italian world heavyweight boxing champion), but will Joe's 'unicorn' grant his wish that Sam will win? Or will the reality that it is merely a sickly malformed kid prove too much?

Speaking of Joe: Jonathan Ashmore, who played him when just 7 years old, comes from a serious thespian background, with his father being theatre director-actor Peter Ashmore and his mother actress Rosalie Crutchley. But this did not stop him from undergoing a dramatic career move, from acting (A Kid For Two Farthings was his only film appearance) to academia, qualifying as a quantum physicist after obtaining a PhD in this subject, and after many major contributions to physics and also physiology becoming a Fellow of the Royal Society. He is currently Bernard Katz Professor of Biophysics at University College London.

As for the future Carry On mainstay – this is none other than Sid James, who plays Ice Berg, the comic-relief spiv who spends much of the movie trying to tempt Sam into purchasing one of his decidedly dodgy engagement rings for Sonia.  Moreover, another future Carry On stalwart makes a very brief appearance – Barbara Windsor.

Carol Reed's first colour movie (and which earned him a Palme d'Or nomination at the 1955 Cannes Film Festival), with its exteriors shot in and around the genuine Petticoat Lane (which I visited back in the early 1970s and bought a small modern-day reproduction of an antiquarian globe of the world that I still have today ), and packed with notable British actors and actresses who all performed their parts well (with Kossoff being absolutely sensational), A Kid For Two Farthings is one of those whimsical, nostalgic, quintessentially British films from that particular time period that deftly mixes comedy, drama, fantasy, and gentle but unashamed wholesomeness to excellent effect throughout. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie, and anyone seeking to recapture a setting and an entire way of life long gone now will do so too – of that I have no doubt.

Finally: to view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

Joe Robinson as Sam and Diana Dors as Sonia, from A Kid For Two Farthings (© Carol Reed/London Films/Romulus Films – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educationa/review purposes only)

 

WHAT A WHOPPER

Publicity poster for What a Whopper (© Gilbert Gunn/Regal Films International/Viscount Films - reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

I can still fondly remember the first time that I ever saw the early 1960s British comedy movie What a Whopper. I was around 13 years old, and had been fascinated by the Loch Ness monster ever since I first read about it as a child in a wonderful book entitled Stranger Than People (click here to read on my ShukerNature blog all about how this fascinating volume greatly influenced my interests in mysteries in general and cryptozoology in particular). The movie was shown on TV one evening in England, and I watched it in absolute delight on our faithful old b/w television (as the movie itself was made in b/w, I lost nothing by not watching it on a colour TV), thoroughly engrossed and willing Nessie to appear asap. A few years later, it was reshown, and again I watched it avidly, despite knowing the plot this time. But after that – nothing.

Years and years went by, and never once did What a Whopper make an appearance in the TV schedules here in the UK, despite my scrutinizing them closely, especially when I eventually acquired my first video recorder, meaning that I could then tape it off the TV for my own personal rewatching as often as I liked thereafter. I think that its absence was due to the fact that it was a b/w movie – since the turn of this current century, b/w productions, even ones as cinematically significant as the classic Laurel and Hardy features and shorts, and the countless silent comedies starring the likes of Buster Keaton, Harry Langdon, Charlie Chaplin, and Harold Lloyd, are shown on British TV far less frequently than in the past. Happily, however, during the early 2000s, What a Whopper finally made a much-belated but very welcome return to the small screen here, and I was ready, armed with my newest VCR and a top-quality videocassette. Moreover, last year I treated myself to this movie's official DVD, released in 2011, adding it to my sizeable collection of cryptozoology-themed films.

Speaking of which: it may come as a surprise to learn that in spite of the longstanding, global interest in Nessie, particularly since the first major flourish of modern-day sightings occurring in 1933, only a single LNM-themed movie had been produced – Secret of the Loch, directed by Milton Rosmer and released in 1934 – prior to the release in 1961 of What a Whopper, directed by Gilbert Gunn. Moreover, even What a Whopper is less concerned with Nessie directly than with utilizing her celebrity to make some money by decidedly nefarious but hilarious means. Although its leading star is none other than 1960s British heart-throb singer Adam Faith (but who did become a well-respected full-time actor in his own right in later years), for the most part the cast list of What a Whopper reads like a who's who of classic British comedy stars – including Sid James, Spike Milligan, Wilfrid Brambell, Amanda Barrie, Charles Hawtrey, Clive Dunn, Lance Percival, Terry Scott, Molly Weir, Frank Forsyth, and Freddie Frinton, plus an appearance by famous Scottish journalist and broadcaster Fyfe Robertson playing himself.

Another publicity poster for What a Whopper (© Gilbert Gunn/Regal Films International/Viscount Films - reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Written by screenwriter Terry Nation (who also created the Daleks for Doctor Who), reworking it from an original story by Jeremy Lloyd and Trevor Peacock, the plot saw Faith as perennially-unsuccessful would-be writer Tony Blake. After receiving yet another rejection from a publisher for his latest book, concerning the Loch Ness monster, but in dire need of some cash to avoid being evicted from his rented one-room flat in Chelsea, London, Tony hits upon the idea of faking a photograph of the selfsame monster and selling it to the media for a tidy little sum of money.

Travelling to Loch Ness with his friend Vernon, Vernon's girlfriend Charlotte, and pretty French hitch-hiker Marie whom they pick up along the way, Tony uses a hidden speaker to create a monstrous roaring sound that he convinces the locals living near the loch is none other than the cry of Nessie herself. He also attempts to create his planned phony photo using a fake monster – only to discover to his alarm and chagrin that several locals have come up with exactly the same idea, using their own equally faux LNM lookalikes. And when one of the locals finds his hidden speaker, Tony realizes that the game is not so much afoot as up – well and truly up, in fact.

Fleeing from a posse of enraged locals, Tony and Marie jump upon a rowing boat and row rapidly from shore out across the loch, but still facing the shore, and becoming increasingly puzzled as to why the locals standing there suddenly stop shouting angrily at them and instead begin gesticulating frantically to them. So when Tony and Marie then hear a loud roar behind them, they immediately look over their shoulder – and yes, you've guessed it, there is Nessie herself, all scaly vertical neck and grinning face, who turns to the camera and gives an extremely louche wink before rumbling: "What a whopper!" Wonderful! (Click here if you'd like to view this fantastic closing scene on YouTube.)

Nessie's long-awaited appearance in What a Whopper (© Gilbert Gunn/Regal Films International/Viscount Films - reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Having said that, my other favourite scene from this movie sees Adam Faith's character Tony listening to the radio with Marie when who should come on but – yes indeed – Adam Faith! Under the name Eden Charity, he is performing his new song, 'The Time Has Come', much to the disgust of Tony, who calls him a nit and loudly bemoans to Marie that he can't stand him! It is of course noticeable that despite Tony's complaints, the radio just so happens to stay on long enough for Adam/Eden to sing the whole of his song, and Tony even croons along to it, barely suppressing a smile as he does so! Indeed, in real life Adam Faith did release this song as a single, which went on to achieve a very respectable #4 position in the UK Singles chart during 1961, while the movie was on general release in cinemas. Click here to view on YouTube the above-described scene from What a Whopper and hear this song.

Far superior in my opinion, however, was the eponymous theme song to What a Whopper – which can currently be heard here on YouTube – playing through this movie's opening scene, which depicts the beginning of the Swinging Sixties scene in London in a somewhat saucy manner. Incidentally, both songs were written by Laurie Johnson, a celebrated British bandleader and prolific writer of scores for countless films and TV shows.

As I noted earlier, What a Whopper is now available on DVD, so I heartily recommend all dedicated fans not only of vintage British comedy films but also of cryptozoological monster movies to add this very funny 86-minute rarity to their collection. Moreover, as it’s in Region 0 DVD format, it can be played on any DVD player anywhere in the world.

Finally: to view a complete listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE! 

The official DVD of What a Whopper, which I'm delighted to own after having sought out this movie on TV for such a long time (© Gilbert Gunn/Regal Films International/Viscount Films/Renown Pictures Ltd - reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)