ORC WARS (aka DRAGONFYRE)

 

Publicity picture depicting Rusty Joiner as John Norton alongside one of the orcs from Orc Wars (© Kohl Glass/Uncorkd Entertainment/Arrowstorm Entertainment – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

My movie watch on 4 June 2025 was Orc Wars (aka Dragonfyre), a low-budget but very entertaining action/fantasy movie in which the monstrous orcs inhabiting a parallel dimension threaten to invade and conquer our own world via a magical gateway linking the two.

Directed and also co-written by Kohl Glass, and released in 2013 by Arrowstorm Entertainment, Orc Wars features as its lead character a shell-shocked, traumatised American ex-Special Forces operative, John Norton (played by Rusty Joiner), who buys a ranch out in some remote American wilderness many miles from anywhere (the movie is shot on location in Utah) where he hopes to find peace and seclusion. Some hope!

For instead, what he does find is that, firstly, he is in fact the latest in a long line of world sentinels born to guard gateways to eight other parallel worlds that periodically open when our moon and theirs overlap in the sky; and, secondly, one of these gateways, situated inside a cave on his own land and near to his new home, is presently releasing from their world into ours hordes of savage, sword-wielding, arrow-shooting orcs. In addition, they are empowered but also subjugated by an insubstantial, floating witch-like entity, Anathema (great name!), veiled and shrounded in white but irrevocably evil. Anathema is played visually by Samantha Law, but with Clare Grant providing this weird character's ear-piercing, banshee-like shrieks (which occur often, albeit for no apparent reason in most cases!).

Gravity-defying but in grievous need of a manicure, this airborne multi-taloned terror is seeking to capture a fair elven princess named Aleya (played delectably by Masiela Lusha) who has fled into our world to escape Anathema's stiletto-nailed clutches, because the shrieking one plans to sacrifice the regal elf in order to gain supreme power, or something like that. Anyway, the witch has also weaponised a fire-breathing winged dragon of colossal size and seemingly unstoppable power, to add to her planned devastation of our world and ensure that the orcs recapture Aleya.

For his part, Norton can rely only upon three (briefly four) brave helpers. Aleya herself is one, a fairly diminutive but feisty long-eared lady who is immensely skilled as an archer. Another is Katie (Clare Niederpruem), the estate agent who had recently arranged Norton's purchase of the ranch and soon after his moving in there calls around to see how he is settling in, only to become an unwitting but willing – yet tragically short-lived – ally in his bid to conquer the orcs.

Then there is a blind Native American warrior named Whitefeather (Wesley John), whose family was slaughtered by orcs during an earlier incursion into our world when he was a child. Moreover, although sparing his life, they gouged out his eyes. As a result, however, Whitefeather developed mystical powers, not to mention some highly effective martial arts moves, and thereafter, as a means of avenging his family and himself, he devoted his life to helping the then sentinel of the world gate to defend it from invading orcs, before the sentinel was eventually slain by them. So now, Whitefeather has transferred his allegiance to the new sentinel, Norton.

Last but not least is Scooter (Maclain Nelson, who also served as one of this movie's co-producers), a stereotypical good ol' boy from Hicksville. Originally one of three such characters who at the movie's beginning encounter a group of Aleya-seeking orcs, he is the only one to survive that meeting. However, although he may be dumb, Scooter is also heroic and loyal, unlike his two compatriots who were nasty pieces of work (so their respective but equally gory orc-engineered demises are guaranteed not to be grieved about by the film's viewers!).

But can Norton and his small, oddly-matched band of supporters nullify the grandiose schemes of Anathema and a seemingly limitless contingent of ornery orcs? What do you think??

 

The full cover of my official UK DVD of Orc Wars (© Kohl Glass/Uncorkd Entertainment/Arrowstorm Entertainment/High Fliers – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

For a low-budget movie like this one, the orc costumes, especially the facial masks used, are very impressive, and I'm guessing that they may have been inspired by those from Peter Jackson's mega-budget LOTR movie trilogy. Speaking of which, the sentinel's sword is claimed by some reviewers to be a dead ringer for the sword utilised as Sting in this same trilogy. (Quite frankly, however, as I have more to do in my life than spend it conducting pedantic, ultimately unimportant comparisons like this, I cannot pass any opinion regarding such claims.) As for the CGI-rendered flying dragon, this is very well designed, and delivers satisfactorily too, engaging my attention whenever it appears on screen.

Although they all perform their roles well, the cast members are for the most part virtual unknowns. Indeed, prior to this movie I hadn't even heard of or seen anything featuring its lead actor, Rusty Joiner. So I looked him up online, and learnt that he is one of a growing number of former male fashion models who have since moved into the acting profession, including such now-famous screen stars as Channing Tatum, Kellan Lutz, and, perhaps most successfully of all, Mark Wahlberg. Joiner's filmography contains a fair list of film and TV credits from 2004 onwards, with perhaps his most famous role being that of Eddie in Resident Evil: Extinction (though I haven't watched this movie).

In Orc Wars, Joiner plays his Mad Max-like role very serviceably, albeit a tad heavy at times on the taciturn, laconic persona, as he seeks to rescue Aleya specifically and save the world in general, In theory,, Aleya serves as Norton's love interest. but in practice they never even share as much as a kiss – no time for romance when you're decapitating orcs by the dozen, I suppose…

The concept of this movie is potentially interesting – a fantasy world and our real world clashing in open warfare. Yet in spite of their far greater numbers, the sword-slashing, bows-and-arrows brigade of orcs never really stand a chance against Norton and his literal armoury of guns, rifles, pistols, bazookas, grenades, etc etc, all of which have been left behind by his late sentinel predecessor, Indeed, so superior are these weapons to any technology familiar to the orcs in their own world that they consider them to be magical and the sentinels, now including Norton, to be wizards. Needless to say, however, such a mismatched set-up somewhat reduces the suspense and tension that this move's frequent and full-on battle scenes might otherwise have generated.

There is also a highly dramatic event that is frequently shown during this movie but which yields a major plot hole needing to be circumnavigated if attempting to suspend disbelief regarding the movie's storyline. The gateway between the orc world and ours opens briefly whenever our moon and theirs overlap, an event that can be readily seen in our sky, and which culminates in fiery lightning flickering upon their surfaces when the two moons are perfectly aligned. So how come such a readily observable, spectacular astronomical event has never once been documented by any of the countless professional and amateur sky-watchers throughout our world's long history??

Never mind, watching Orc Wars was a fun way to pass 90 minutes or so, which after all is what a movie is all about, or should be. So I'm readily able to recommend it to anyone who can enjoy fantasy without taking it seriously.

 If you would like to watch an official trailer for Orc Wars, please click here to do so on YouTube, where you can also currently watch the entire movie free of charge if you click here.

Finally: to view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

A somewhat busy publicity poster for Orc Wars, featuring its alternative title of Dragonfyre (© Kohl Glass/Uncorkd Entertainment/Arrowstorm Entertainment – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

 

GUNS AKIMBO

 

Two versions of Guns Akimbo, the left-hand DVD containing the full, uncut 18-Certificate version, the DVD on the right containing the slightly cut 15-Certificate version (© Jason Lei Howden/Occupant Entertainment/Four Knights Film/Maze Pictures/Cutting Edge/The Electric Shadow Company/Umedia/Ingenious Media/WS Filmproduktion/Deutscher Filmforderfonds/FilmFernsehrFonds Bayern/Hyperion Entertainment/New Zealand Film Commission/Saban Films/Altitude Film Distribution/Leonine Distribution/Madman Entertainment – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

My film watch on 16 October 2024 was Guns Akimbo, as recommended recently to me by a fellow movie fan on Facebook.

Directed and written by Jason Lei Howden, released jointly in 2019 by Saban Films (in North America), Altitude Film Distribution (UK), Leonine Distribution (Germany and Austria), and Madman Entertainment (Australia and New Zealand), and filmed in Germany and New Zealand, Guns Akimbo is basically an action-packed but relentlessly-violent dark comedy/sci fi/crime thriller on steroids, and set in an alternative near future.

It stars Daniel Radcliffe, in a role (albeit still as the hero) about as far removed from his Harry Potter movies as it is possible to imagine – and then some! (Although his character in Horns – click here to read my review of that movie – may run it a close second!) But don't take my word for all of this – here's what IMDb has to say about Guns Akimbo via a very succinct but accurate summary of its veritable rollercoaster of a plot:

Miles [played by Daniel Radcliffe] is stuck in a dead-end programming job. Still in love with his ex-girlfriend Nova [Natasha Liu Bordizzo], he spends his waking hours between pining for her and scouring the internet as a social-justice troll, cowardly leaving anonymous insults to those who post objectionable content online. Meanwhile a cyber-gang, called Skizm, is running an ultra-violent game across his city, in which violent criminals fight to the death for the entertainment of an online audience of millions. Miles feels safe and secure insulting the sick audience of this game, but soon finds himself abducted and thrust into the game, forced to fight with an insane, gun-crazed, escaped lunatic [a female assassin named Nix, played by Samara Weaving]. His only tools, but also his biggest handicap, are the two huge pistols that have been literally bolted onto his hands. Initially, Miles's lifetime of running from his problems pays off as he – barely – manages to elude his seemingly unstoppable opponent, but when Nova's life is threatened unless he takes an active part in the game, he must finally stop running and overcome his fears to fight for the girl he loves.

Scorching along at a blistering pace that never pauses for a second all through its 90-odd-minute action-pummelling running time, peppered with as many bullets as there are expletives – and there are innumerable expletives – the movie itself plays like a maximum-speed computer video game, which in essence is what its plot is, but a game featuring real people in a real-life setting who suffer real-life deaths.

And if you're wondering how all of that can possibly happen so brazenly, in full view of the police yet unchallenged by them, it's because they are well and truly ensconced in Skism's cash-cached pocket. So Miles can expect no help from them.

Guns Akimbo is not my usual kind of movie, but it is so outrageously OTT, and it also greatly benefits from Radcliffe's very successful combining of non-stop frenetic action with black but broad comedy. This very effectively lightens what otherwise would be an unrelenting bloodfest, albeit one of a graphic comic-book nature rather than anything even remotely realistic (thankfully!), boasting as it does a body count of uncountable, unaccountable proportions.

It also sports a pumping soundtrack, including rocking tracks by the likes of Iggy Pop, Rick James, and Cypress Hill, plus two superb pounding cover versions by American industrial metal band 3Teeth. One of these is of British glam rock band The Sweet's smash hit single 'Ballroom Blitz', and the other one is of Dead Or Alive's classic UK #1 single 'You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)'.

In short, Guns Akimbo is certainly a movie that moves, in top gear and beyond at all times, so my attention and interest never flagged even for an instant throughout it. Consequently, action/crime-thriller fans and computer video game geeks alike will love it, I'm sure – as, albeit very unexpectedly, did I!

Last but not least: Nix has named her much-used pistol Kindness, and has also written along its side this seemingly odd name for a death-dealing weapon – until of course you suddenly realise that when she is shooting people dead with it, she is quite literally killing them with Kindness! Quality!

Of the two Guns Akimbo DVDs whose photos open this movie review, I own and watched the version depicted on the right, i.e. the slightly edited 15-Certificate one, and that was immensely violent – how much more so, therefore, was the uncut 18-Certificate version depicted on the left?! The mind boggles!

Anyway, if you'd like to immerse yourself albeit briefly in Skism's played-for-real killer computer game of death within which Miles finds himself lethally trapped and unceasingly targeted by his Kindness-wielding nemesis Nix, please click here and here to watch a couple of truly explosive official Guns Akimbo trailers on YouTube.

Also: to view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

THE BRONX WARRIORS (aka 1990: THE BRONX WARRIORS aka THE RIFFS)

 

Close-up of the front cover of my EV ex-rental big box VHS video of The Bronx Warriors (© Enzo G. Castellari/Deaf International Film/Fulvia Film/EV – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

After owning it unwatched for almost 40 years, last night I finally sat down and played my EV ex-rental big box VHS video of the English dub of a classic Italian action/near-future semi-sci fi movie from the early 1980s. Namely, 1990: The Bronx Warriors (aka The Bronx Warriors, The Riffs, 1990: I Guerneri del Bronx, and several other alternative release titles).

Directed by Enzo G. Castellari (who also takes a small acting role in it as the MC's vice-president), filmed in 1981, and released in 1982 by Fulvia Films, 1990: The Bronx Warriors (to give it its full title, as the year 1990 is central to its plot) belongs in some ways to the post-apocalypse survival sub-genre of science fiction movies, except that instead of the global disaster that usually features in them, here the devastation and gang rule is limited to a single borough of a single city, and has been caused not by nuclear annihilation but instead by officialdom's wholesale abandonment of said borough.

The city in question is New York City, the borough is the Bronx, and the year is 1990 – which is when, as announced in a brief preamble shortly after the movie opens, is when the NYC authorities gave up trying to fight the unrelenting crime wave that had overtaken this borough and abandoned it as a lawless no man's land. Since then, it has become a wholly feral hellhole, a ramshackle ruin of crumbling buildings and deserted homes, ruled by a diverse array of different gangs, each with its own fiercely-defended territory. And when it comes to the gangs, diverse is definitely the word to describe them.

The Riders, for instance, who take centre stage in this movie, is a no-nonsense motorcycle gang (some of its members were actually played by real-life Hell's Angels) led by the youthful albeit exceedingly tall Trash (played by Marco De Gregorio, but credited as Mark Gregory); whereas the Zombies, led by the charismatic Golan (George Eastman), zip around on roller skates in gleaming white shoulder-crescented costumes, wield deadly hockey sticks that are anything but jolly, and might have led to confusion with extras from Starlight Express – were it not for the incongruous fact that another gang, the ironically-titled Iron Men, actually do take their besequined sartorial inspiration from musical theatre (and are played by professional television dancers), but are no less violent than the other gangs all the same.

 

Trash (centre) in conference with some of his fellow Riders (© Enzo G. Castellari/Deaf International Film/Fulvia Film – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Also of serious note are the saloon-driving Tigers, led by the coolest dude this side of the Brooklyn Bridge, a kind of black Austin Powers known only as the Ogre (Fred Williamson), though he also styles himself King of the Bronx, and the other gangs pay him grudging, token respect as he is responsible for bringing into the Bronx from the outside world all manner of necessities, including food and especially weaponry – lots of it. Nor dare we forget the Scavengers, a gang of barely-human killers attired only in rags, who emerge from their subterranean hideaways to waylay anyone unfortunate enough to encounter these degenerate troglodytes who seem incapable of speech, communicating only via grunts and shrieks.

Clearly, the Bronx is not a safe place for any outsider to viait, which is why the sudden appearance there one night of a beautiful teenage girl named Ann (Stefania Girolami, the real-life daughter of director Castellari) attracts such interest – and not just from a group of Zombies who try to assault her, and from Trash who turns up in the nick of time to rescue her and take her back to the other Riders, where he swiftly falls in love with this veritable damsel in distress

For Manhattan's police and especially the exceedingly powerful president of a massive arms-manufacturing company based there named the Manhattan Corporation (MC) are soon aware of Ann's disappearance into the Bronx, thanks to a covert tagging device used by the MC called a gizmo. And because she just so happens to be the MC president's own daughter and therefore heiress to the entire company, he is determined to get her back safely, whatever it entails, and at whatever cost in money and human lives it takes.

With its core plot duly established, the rest of the movie is basically a thrilling series of set pieces initially involving inter-gang scuffles and skirmishes but followed by uneasy truces and co-operation in order to keep Ann safe once she reveals who she is and how she has fled because of her hatred of what the MC represents – its selling of weapons being responsible for untold killings and human suffering worldwide year after year. Needless to say, this is something that Ann wants no part of, but will be irrevocably linked to once she does eventually become its president.

 

Official concept artwork depicting a fraught scene featuring Trash opposing some inimical enemy bikers (but not present in the movie itself) (© Enzo G. Castellari/Deaf International Film/Fulvia Film – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Interspersed between the gangs' confrontations with one other are confrontations between the Riders (especially) and a psychotic Bronx-born mercenary named Hammer (Vic Morrow), who knows every inch of this godforsaken territory and has no scruples or conscience whatsoever in killing whosoever attempts to prevent him from recapturing Ann, having been hired and sent specifically to achieve this goal by her father. Reluctantly working alongside Hammer is another Bronx local, a deadbeat known only as Hot Dog (Christopher Connelly). Moreover, Hammer also gains a further ally when one of the Riders, Ice (John Loffredo), a treacherous, traitorous would-be usurper of Trash as leader of the Riders, volunteers to set gang against gang, which should enable the three of them during all of the undoubted ensuing mayhem to abduct Ann (and also, as Ice is secretly intending, to enable him to become supreme ruler of the Bronx when the gangs have all but exterminated each other.

As so often happens, however, the best-laid plans often fail to come to fruition, and Ice's is no exception. Let’s just say that when Hammer's actions falter, prompting the MC to send in a private army brandishing fire-throwers in addition to the usual artillery, the movie's climax is horrifically violent, with a truly apocalyptic death count, though in a last-minute twist, who is killed and who  survives may not be who you are expecting – it certainly caught me by surprise.

Overall, The Bronx Warriors is very redolent of other Italian movies of this genre that were emerging at much the same time, as well as Hollywood's cult 1979 classic The Warriors and John Carpenter's 1981 neo-sci fi thriller Escape From New York, as well as Australia's Mad Max franchise. In turn, it went on to inspire countless more action flicks in this same movie mould.  Consequently, as I'm a longstanding fan of such films there was nothing to see in it that I hadn't already seen countless times, with the albeit well-staged series of fight scenes beginning to pall after a time for me (though I can well understand why this movie attracted such fandom when first released to audiences who were far less accustomed back in the early 1980s to such superbly-choreographed spectacles).

On the plus side: despite this being a very violent movie there is scarcely any gore to be seen anywhere in it (though there may be more in uncut, unrated versions), which as far as I'm concerned is always a good thing – I'm a firm believer in the Hitchcockian approach to movie-making, i.e. gore is not more. Harnessing the human imagination can yield far greater scares and chills than anything presented fully on-screen.

 

The Ogre (actor/former American football player Fred Williamson) and Witch (actress/model/former Italian Olympic swimmer Elisabetta 'Betty' Dessy), his whip-lashing Tiger lady, luxuriating in their groovy Bronx pad (but actually filmed in Rome, Italy, whereas most outdoor scenes were indeed filmed in NYC itself (© Enzo G. Castellari/Deaf International Film/Fulvia Film – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Despite being a secondary character, The Ogre is certainly the most memorable in this movie, due to Williamson effortlessly stealing every scene that he appears in. Also arresting is Eastman as the Zombies' imposing crimson-garbed leader Golan (but named as Golem in some reviews read by me), making a pleasant change (at least by comparison) from his more (in)famous previous roles as cannibalistic serial killers (in Anthropophagus, 1980, and Absurd, 1981)! And Girolami's Ann is suitably pretty and decorous, contrasting sharply as the living Beauty against the dead, decayed, disintegrated Beast that had once been the thriving Bronx.

Conversely, although his fight scenes, motorbike riding, and stunts throughout the movie are both formidable and faultless (which is particularly noteworthy as he did everything himself, not using a stuntman double), and although I had no problem with his acting skills either (in spite of this movie being the very first that he'd appeared in), I did have a problem accepting Gregory as Trash, the all-powerful leader of a seriously tough adult biker gang.

My problem lay with the fact that Gregory had only just turned 18 (not 17, as often mistakenly claimed) when he filmed his role as Trash, and, unlike various other actors who can look much older than their real age, he really did only look 18. True he was tall, muscular, and undeniably very handsome, but he was clearly just a teenager, and as such I found it difficult to suspend disbelief in order to accept how someone like him could ever have become leader of a biker gang whose other members were all older, in some cases considerably older, than him (or at least looked it).

Perhaps it is no accident, therefore, that in publicity posters and on my video's front cover, Trash is portrayed in vibrant artwork depictions as a clearly much older, far more savage, bloodthirsty figure in full warrior mode, presumably to provide additional encouragement to viewers to watch the movie. Check out the three pictures below to see what I mean.

 

Trash, as seen from left to right in decreasing order of savagery (and in increasing order of reality) – click pictures to enlarge for viewing purposes (© Enzo G. Castellari/Deaf International Film/Fulvia Film/EV – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Worth noting, incidentally, is that Gregory came to director Castellari's attention after Gregory's fiancée sent a photo of him to Fluvia Film, which resulted in Castellari requesting Gregory to attend an audition. Whatever Castellari saw there, he evidently liked very much, youthful age notwithstanding, because Gregory ultimately won the lead role of Trash over 2,000 other applicants. Yet by the end of the 1980s, Gregory was shunning the film industry limelight entirely, for reasons still unclear (though he'd begun to suffer emotionally), and slipped into almost total obscurity thereafter, tragically dying via suicide in 2013 aged only 48. One of the few films that he made before turning his back on the world at large was a Bronx Warriors sequel entitled Escape From The Bronx, which was released in 1983, and which I now plan to watch too.

Meanwhile,, despite taking such an inordinately long time to do so, I am very happy to have finally watched The Bronx Warriors, and I can confirm that for me it was certainly well worth the wait. Equally, if you are also a fan of this movie sub-genre, I feel sure that you will enjoy it too, particularly if you watch it in the context of its production and release during the early 1980s, i.e. over 40 years ago, and don't attempt to compare it directly with the effects-exploding blockbusters of today's cinematic experience. The Bronx Warriors is very much a film of its time, and therefore should be judged accordingly.

If you'd like to experience briefly the barbaric Bronx of 1990 in this action-packed alternate-timeline movie, please click here to watch an official 1990: The Bronx Warriors trailer on YouTube; or click here to watch the entire movie free of charge there.

Finally: to view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

The full front cover of my ex-rental big box video of The Bronx Warriors (© Enzo G. Castellari/Deaf International Film/Fulvia Film/EV – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

 

GEMINI MAN (1976 TV show)

 

Ben Murphy as the bedenimed biker and Intersect special agent Sam Casey, aka the Gemini Man, in Gemini Man (© Michael Caffey/Alan Crosland Jr/Alan J. Levy/Harve Bennett Productions/Universal Television/NBC – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Back in the 1970s, I watched virtually every sci-fi show on TV here in the UK, but somehow managed to miss Gemini Man, starring Ben Murphy (already known to me from the excellent comedy Western series Alias Smith and Jones, in which he played outlaw Kid Curry).

Directed by Michael Caffey, Alan Crosland Jr, and Alan J. Levy, originally screened in 1976 by NBC in the States ( by the BBC in the UK), and conceived as a modern-day take on the famous 1897 novel The Invisible Man by H.G. Wells, Gemini Man focuses upon US secret agent/bedenimed biker Sam Casey (played by Ben Murphy) who, following a near-fatal nuclear-related accident that rendered him invisible and life-saving surgery to reverse this dramatic effect, is able with the aid of a special DNA-stabilising wristwatch to remain visible. However, if he presses one of its special buttons, he can become invisible again, for up to 15 minutes every day – but for no more than 15 minutes every day, otherwise he would vanish forever and die.

 

Sam Casey (Ben Murphy) and Dr Abby Lawrence (Katherine Crawford), from Gemini Man (© Michael Caffey/Alan Crosland Jr/Alan J. Levy/Harve Bennett Productions/Universal Television/NBC – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Sam is dubbed the Gemini Man by his boss Leonard Driscoll (William Sylvester), and, assisted by brilliant scientist Dr Abby Lawrence (Katherine Crawford) who invented his unique wristwatch, he is now able to undergo extra-special assignments for Intersect, the high-tech US government think tank where they all work, that no ordinary agent, lacking Sam's extraordinary, top-secret ability of invisibility, could possibly hope to accomplish.

I knew about this intriguing show, and had even seen the official Gemini Man hardback annual on sale at Christmas 1976-1977 (a copy of which I recently purchased, in excellent secondhand condition, and only four decades late!), following the show's TV screening earlier that year by the BBC. (Speaking of which: there was also a BBC-authorised Gemini Man colouring book on sale in 1976, not to mention a BBC-authorised Gemini Man fun sticker book, and even a Gemini Man LP album, released by Power Records, but I regret to say that I don't own any of these!)

 

Front and back covers of the Universal City Studios-authorized 1977 Gemini Man annual, and front cover of the BBC-authorised Gemini Man colouring book (© Michael Caffey/Alan Crosland Jr/Alan J. Levy/Harve Bennett Productions/Universal Television/NBC/Universal City Studios, Inc./Brown Watson/BBC – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Yet for reasons entirely unknown to me, I never got around to watching any of its single season of eleven 50-minute episodes. Nor even its feature-length pilot episode. Perhaps it clashed with some other series that I or my parents were watching on another TV channel?

Tragically, however, Gemini Man was never repeated in the UK, so I never did get the chance to watch it – until 15 May 2020, that is, when to my surprise and delight I discovered that all eleven episodes of this show (plus the pilot, in which Driscoll is played not by William Sylvester but instead by Richard A. Dysart) were currently available to watch free of charge on YouTube!

 

Cover of the Gemini Man LP record (© Michael Caffey/Alan Crosland Jr/Alan J. Levy/Harve Bennett Productions/Universal Television/NBC/Power Records – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

So I swiftly downloaded the full set as MP4 files, in case they were subsequently taken down from YouTube, which often happens. Now, after a mere 44 years' delay I could finally view them all, and at my leisure. I'd read that Gemini Man didn't get good reviews at the time (especially not in the States, explaining why only 5 episodes were screened there before the show was cancelled, whereas all eleven were screened in the UK), which almost guaranteed that I'd like it!

I also discovered and downloaded an official Gemini Man TV movie, Riding With Death, released in 1981, which consists of two Gemini Man episodes that had been deftly spliced together. These are Episode 1, entitled 'Smithereens', and Episode 10, entitled 'Buffalo Bill Rides Again', linked by the appearance in both of them (but in no others) of a C&W-singing trucker character named 'Buffalo' Bill Joe Hickens (played by real-life country singer Jim Stafford), who becomes friends with Sam after saving his life during 'Smithereen', with Sam duly returning the favour in 'Buffalo Bill Rides Again'. Interestingly, this movie also utilizes excerpts from a 1970 American science fiction film entitled Colossus: The Forbin Project, which I've reviewed here.

 

'Buffalo' Bill (Jim Stafford) and Sam Casey (Ben Murphy) in the Gemini Man TV movie Riding With Death (© Michael Caffey/Alan Crosland Jr/Alan J. Levy/Harve Bennett Productions/Universal Television/NBC – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

A couple of days later, on 17 May 2023, I watched the movie-length pilot episode downloaded from YouTube, which proved to be a source of great fun, and great nostalgia, taking me effortlessly back to 1976 when everything felt so much simpler, and nicer. It even drew to a close with a straightforward happy ending – no angst and hang-ups like we find in today's TV shows, instead simply offering some amusing, lighthearted sci fi & spying gimmickry not to be taken seriously, just enjoyed. True, the viewing quality wasn't brilliant but it was serviceable. Consequently, I knew that I was certainly going to enjoy the 11 normal-length episodes now – and sure enough, I did!

Such a shame, then, that Gemini Man has only ever achieved one official home viewing release – namely, a French DVD box set released by Elephant Films, containing the eleven episodes plus the pilot (but not the 1981 movie), with French-language cover descriptions but the original English audio tracks. I spotted three sets for sale on ebay on 19 May 2020, all brand-new but even the cheapest was a hefty £54.99, which I felt unable to justify purchasing, especially as I already had the YouTube versions. So I decided to stick with my downloads, at least for the time being, merci.

 

The French Gemini Man complete DVD box set (© Michael Caffey/Alan Crosland Jr/Alan J. Levy/Harve Bennett Productions/Universal Television/NBC/Elephant Films – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Fast forward to 21 May 2020, when after much procrastination during the previous few weeks I finally decided to dip my toes into the unknown waters of online trivia quizzes – but only ones that were free to enter, offered cash prizes, and only required a PayPal account (not bank details) to pay any winnings into. So, I entered one such quiz, and ten minutes later my PayPal account had gained £52.63 in winnings, and my DVD collection had duly gained the complete Gemini Man box set. I could get to like online quizzing!

So there is the story of how I made visible in my world at long last the invisible Gemini Man, but it still seems unbelievable to me that this show was originally screened 47 years ago, when I was only 16. Judging from the associated merchandise that was available for it back then, there were high hopes that this sci fi TV show would be a success. Yet although it wasn't, it deserved to be.

 

Sam Casey (Ben Murphy) with his Intersect boss Leonard Driscoll (William Sylvester) and scientist friend/helper Dr Abby Lawrence (Katherine Crawford) (© Michael Caffey/Alan Crosland Jr/Alan J. Levy/Harve Bennett Productions/Universal Television/NBC/Universal City Studios, Inc. – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

As noted earlier, all of the eleven 50-minute Gemini Man episodes, plus the feature-length pilot, and the 1981 TV movie Riding With Death, can currently be accessed on YouTube. So, click here, for example, if you'd like to view the pilot, here if you'd like to view the first of the 50-minute episodes, here if you'd like to view Riding With Death, and here if you'd like to call up all of the episodes in a single YouTube listing.

Finally: to view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

Ben Murphy as Sam Casey, the Gemini Man (© Michael Caffey/Alan Crosland Jr/Alan J. Levy/Harve Bennett Productions/Universal Television/NBC/Universal City Studios, Inc. – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

 

BUSTED UP (aka KILLING TOWN)

 

Front cover and spine of my official ex-rental big box Medusa VHS videocassette of Busted Up (aka Killing Town) (© Conrad E. Palmisano/Rose & Ruby/Medusa Home Videos – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Some movie DVDs and videos have been watched by me almost as soon as I've bought them, whereas various others have lingered unwatched for longer – sometimes much longer. In the case of the movie under review here today, I've owned it in ex-rental big box video format for over 30 years without ever having viewed it – until recently, that is, when I finally got around to doing so. And the title of this long-neglected movie? Busted Up (also released retitled as Killing Town).

Directed by Conrad E. Palmisano, co-produced and written by Damian Lee (who loosely based it upon his own real-life experiences as a bare knuckle boxer in Peru before becoming involved in film-making), and released in 1986 by Rose & Ruby, Busted Up has as its central character one Earl Bird (played by Paul Coufos). Earl is a former jailbird but now a totally reformed and rehabilitated local hero, who not only owns with his best buddy Angie (Stan Shaw) a much-loved gym in the heart of their downtown backstreet neighbourhood (in an unnamed American urban location) but also is a very skilled boxer, of both the gloved and the bare knuckle variety.

Furthermore, Earl is a single parent to his young daughter Sara after girlfriend Simone (Irene Cara) walked out on them, seeking fame and fortune as a singer in the bright lights. However, that didn't work out, so now she is back, singing in sleazy bars instead, and intent upon reclaiming Sara. But this is far from being Earl's only problem needing to be dealt with by him.

Local mobster Irving Drayton (Tony Rosato) has been hired by some seriously unscrupulous real-estate wheeler-dealers to purchase all the properties in Earl's neighbourhood, so that they can be flattened and a shiny new complex built in their stead, and to do whatever it takes to rid these properties of their tenants and owners if they won't sell and move out quickly and quietly.

But after Earl and Angie refuse to sell the gym, and made swiftly aware of Earl's fighting prowess when he readily beats up all of his heavies into abject submission, Drayton offers Earl a serious challenge instead.

One of Earl's friends had reluctantly sold to Drayton the greengrocer store that he and his father before him had owned and worked in all their lives. So the deal proposed is that Earl fights a champion hand-picked by Drayton. If Earl loses, Drayton keeps the greengrocer store and also takes the gym, but if Earl wins he keeps the gym and also takes back his friend's store. There is one other condition, however – in addition to the businesses, Earl and Drayton must each put up a cash prize of $25,000.

That is not a problem for Drayton, because this is the sum that the wheeler-dealers have paid him in advance for his services. But as Earl and Angie do not have that kind of money going spare, it means that Earl will have to raise it by entering bare knuckle bouts in the hopes of winning it. But in so doing, he risks injuring himself before the bout with Drayton's champion (something that Drayton is counting upon happening).

And speaking of his champion: Drayton calls upon the services of a feral man-mountain just released from jail on parole, a certain Tony Tenera (Gord Judges), who just so happens to nurture a blind, unfettered hatred for Earl following a ferocious physical confrontation when they were in jail together. So this will be a grudge match in every sense.

After reconciling with Simone, and finally accumulating the necessary $25,000 without doing damage to himself, Earl is all set for the big fight with Tenera. Then, that same day, he is tricked into a back-alley confrontation with Drayton's entire gang of thugs who beat him up so badly with iron bars that it seems unlikely he will be in a fit state even to tackle Tenera that evening, let alone emerge triumphant. Thanks to Angie's skills in recuperative treatment, however, Earl enters the ring and prepares to do battle, but will his still-weakened state let him down, or will he rise like a resurrected Rocky phoenix and demolish Tenera, saving the day for himself, for the gym, and for all his friends in the neighbourhood? Take a wild guess!

Busted Up is a somewhat formulaic but nonetheless very watchable underdog-comes-good sport-themed action movie, with a very likeable character in Earl whom you readily root for throughout the film, plus an unequivocally (and literally!) no-punches-pulled performance from Coufos playing him. Although Cara is top-billed in the movie's opening credits (and second-billed in the closing ones, oddly), as Simone she plays little more than a supporting character (though she does get to sing some songs), with Coufos's Earl, Shaw's Angie, Rosato's Drayton, and Frank Pellegrino's Nicky (providing some much-needed comedy relief among all the blood and beatings as a longstanding yet less than trustworthy friend of Earl and Angie) sharing the principal acting honours.

So, was Busted Up worth its 30-year wait to be watched by me? Bearing in mind that it's from a film genre – sport – that I rarely watch (martial arts excepted), and that I only bought it on the strength of its two lead stars, Coufos and Cara, I think so, yes. It engaged my attention, made me care about the good guys, and wish bad things upon the bad guys – what more can you ask for from an action movie?

If you'd like to view an official Busted Up trailer on YouTube, be sure to click here. Moreover, at the time of my posting this review of it on Shuker In MovieLand, you can watch this entire film free of charge on YouTube by clicking here – so be sure to take the opportunity to do so while you can.

Finally: to view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

BILLY BADD (aka MOTOR PSYCHO) (1992)

 

Official videocassette cover for Billy Badd (aka Motor Psycho) (© Alex Downs/Pivot Pictures/York Home Video – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

It's been a while since I watched a biker movie, so last night I watched the 1992 Alex Downs-directed action film Billy Badd (aka Motor Psycho, but not to be confused with the 1965 b/w Russ Meyer-directed biker movie of this same title).

Directed by the afore-mentioned Alex Downs, who also co-wrote its story, and released by Pivot Pictures in 1992, Billy Badd certainly lives up to its title. As played by Robert Restaino, the title character is a crazed, murderous, totally psychotic biker who, inexplicably, has just been granted parole from a life sentence after being convicted of rape, assault, an assortment of brutal killings that included his own parents, and who knows what else besides!

Not surprisingly, everyone in the vicinity of the desert town where Billy has been released from prison suddenly finds urgent business that demands their attention a long LONG way away – even the local outlaw biker gang departs for burn-ups elsewhere.

Unfortunately for college sweethearts Frankie (Tom Emery Dennis) and Zoey (Nicola Seixas), however, driving on an epic road journey to their scholastic alma mater in New York City via a very long and lonely cross-country highway through California's Mojave Desert, they happen to be entirely unaware of this gruesome back story. That is, until a heavily geared-up Mr Badd rides by them on his motorbike, looking disconcertingly imho like the late great Freddie Starr attired as a Mad Max road warrior, and definitely looking for trouble, BIG trouble! So once he sees F&Z, he decides to create some – with, and for, them!

Totally unhinged, and armed to the teeth with a veritable artillery of weapons, after terrifying the frantic couple for a while via his constant perilous pursuit of them Billy shoots Frankie in the leg, sets fire to their vehicle, and rides off with wounded Frankie strapped onto his bike's fuel tank, a frantic Zoey trailing far behind in the clearly vain, hopeless aim of tracking them down.

 

The smiling assassin, in every sense! Psycho biker Billy Badd, played by Robert Restaino (© Alex Downs/Pivot Pictures/York Home Video – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

But then an ostensibly unlikely glimmer of hope appears, in the befuddled form of The Rat (Dermott Daniel Downs). He is a shell-shocked vagrant ex-soldier who lives inside a hole in the desert, and not only is even more deluded than Billy (if such a thing were possible!) but also just so happens to be his brother! Happily, however, The Rat is much more pacific and kindly in nature than brother Billy, and after a tortuous time attempting to wrap his muddled mind around what Zoey is telling him about what has happened, he finally provides her with instructions on how to reach the shack where Billy lives, together with a crossbow to use against him once there.

Eventually, after stealing a lorry en route, Zoey arrives at Billy's shack where he is holding a terrified Frankie prisoner and triumphantly regaling him with what he plans to do to him – which is when what has already been a scorching pace for the storyline becomes a veritable inferno! The movie's climax inside the shack certainly pulls no punches (especially in the physical sense!), plus there is an unexpected if wholly implausible twist right at the very end of the movie.

Billy Badd is basically a very violent (albeit not so gory) biker-themed horror thriller, whose freakish central character is brought explosively to life by a wholly unrestrained Restaino, his characterisation of Billy being not so much over the top as completely off the planet, but nonetheless is totally mesmerising throughout – especially as Billy speaks exclusively in pop-culture quotes and sound-bites, thereby rendering him even more bizarre than he already would be. Restaino also performs a number of the movie's hair-raising motorbike stunts personally – no mean feat in itself, so all credit to him for that, let alone everything else.

Dennis and Seixas are also eminently watchable, with Seixas ultimately transforming into a Lana Croft facsimile in order to rescue her man-handled man from his psychopathic abductor. And Downs as The Rat is rather like watching a mind-melted Jekyll lined up against Billy's blood-letting Hyde.

It may be a low-budget flick, but if you like blisteringly wild – and in this case also decidedly wacky – biker movies with plenty of adrenaline-triggering activity, Billy Badd will not disappoint. It even includes some snatches of dark twisted humour entwined amidst the unrelenting madness and mayhem of this road trip to hell. And if you'd like to take a brief ride down that deadly desert highway and experience a heart-pumping encounter with badass Billy himself, be sure to click here to watch an official Billy Badd trailer on YouTube, and here for a swift but savage lesson in how not to interact with Billy!

To view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

Not a sight that you'd ever want to see through your windscreen – here's Billy!!! (© Alex Downs/Pivot Pictures/York Home Video – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)