So many movies on my list to review, so little time in which to review them, at least via a full-length, detailed coverage, but here is a selection of mini-reviews surveying half a dozen of the more unusual, offbeat science fiction and fantasy movies watched by me in 2023.
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THE PORTABLE DOOR
On 6 August 2023, my movie watch was the recently-released fantasy film The Portable Door. Directed by Jeffrey Walker, and released in 2023 by MGM+ and Madman Entertainment, The Portable Door is all about a couple of young interns, Paul Carpenter (played by Patrick Gibson) and Sophie Pettinger (Sophie Wilde), newly employed at a long-established but exceedingly mysterious London-based company, J.W. Wells and Co, whose apparent purpose is to magically arrange coincidences for their clients, but whose real intention is something much darker, as the two interns soon find out.
And at the heart of it all is the eponymous portable door, which looks deceptively like a white fleecy towel. But when a person holds it up vertically, says "Knock Knock", and then specifies outloud a location that they'd like to visit, the towel instantly becomes a full-sized door – and as soon as the person opens it and steps through, they find themselves in their desired location. The company's current CEO, Humphrey Wells, has lost this incredible artefact, and sets Paul on a quest to find it, but when he does, all manner of danger awaits.
Starring Christoph Waltz as the deviously dastardly Humphrey, and Sam Neill as his acerbic middle manager Dennis Tanner, with Neill's character in particular not being at all who – or even what – he seems, The Portable Door is already a modern fantasy movie classic (and is based upon a 2003 bestselling Tom Holt novel of the same title), with dazzling sets and design decor, not to mention bedazzling special effects, plus the Jim Henson Company's ever-vibrant creature contributions. In short, it is a movie well worth watching, definitely! But, to quote the late great Larry Grayson, always be sure to "shut that door!" – because whoever closes the portable door, keeps the portable door! To experience its magic for yourself, be sure to click here to watch an official trailer for The Portable Door on YouTube.
THE SPECIALS
On 28 September 2023, I watched The Specials – no, not the British ska group, but the 2000 American super-hero comedy movie directed by Craig Mazin and starring Rob Lowe. Here, the Specials are a 6th (or even 7th)-rate super-hero combo who have to be satisfied with taking on all the dross missions that none of the more elite super-hero groups can be bothered with. In addition, they have to deal with much dissent from their own members, much of it caused by the egotistical nature of their leader, the Great Strobe. And as if all of this were not demeaning enough: just when they seem finally about to hit the big time via the launching of an official Specials range of action figures, it all goes disastrously wrong yet again, thanks to the much-anticipated figures being revealed at the launch party to have been put together from oddments left over from previous super-hero figures, so that they don’t even resemble their respective Specials characters.
Sadly, however, this is one of those movies that thinks it is a lot funnier and smarter than it actually is, with many of its jokes falling flat, and its slapstick spoilt by attempts to present it as coolly ironic when in reality it is neither. Rob Lowe does what he can with his character, The Weevil – the most charismatic Special and supposedly invested with insect powers but which we never actually see (indeed, except for a single, very short group scene near the movie's finale, we scarcely see any of these super-heroes' super powers!). But ultimately even he cuts and runs, literally, deserting the Specials for the Crusaders, a much more respectable, and respected, super-hero group – and who can blame him?
To be honest, I felt like doing the same, at least as far as cutting and running was concerned, and long before the movie drew to a close too, but I gamely stayed with it, albeit as much out of morbid curiosity to discover how it would end than for any other reason. And how did it end? It just did, no bang, not even a whimper, just a rolling of credits. So there you go, as indeed did they. Please click here to view an official trailer for The Specials on YouTube, or even here to watch for free the entire movie on there, if you're truly so inclined.
FLUKE
Many years ago I read the James Herbert novel Fluke, first published in 1977, which unlike his other works is not a horror story. Instead, it is a very touching, unusual fantasy all about reincarnation, and is narrated by a dog named Fluke who gradually realises as the story progresses that he was a man in a previous life, with a wife and child, but who somehow died and has now been reincarnated in his present canine form. As flashbacks to his previous human life intensify, Fluke decides to seek out his former family, and begins to suspect that his human death resulted from foul play, so he plans to avenge himself upon his killer and thereby save his family. Then, of course, out of nowhere comes the massive end-of-novel twist... I thoroughly enjoyed this novel, and have therefore long planned to view the 1995 movie version of it, also called Fluke, which I finally did on 25 November 2023.
The movie follows much the same plot as the novel, including the twist ending – except that its twist ending differs somewhat from the book's version. That is to say, the original twist is there, but a second, totally new one has been tagged onto it. So there was I, fully expecting to know how the movie ended, when this new, double-twist appeared and totally threw me! Having said that, both versions work well, but the movie's ending is certainly more family-oriented than the novel's, as this is definitely a family film. Indeed, it features what must surely be the cutest dog on the cinematic planet, a gorgeous russet-coated canine thespian named Comet, starring as Fluke, who narrates throughout the film via his thoughts. These are voiced by Matthew Modine, who also appears on-screen, playing Fluke's previous human counterpart, a workaholic inventor/businessman named Tom Johnson, as seen within Fluke's flashbacks of his former life.
Additionally starring Nancy Travis (as Tom's wife, Carol), Eric Stoltz (as his business partner, Jeff), Max Pemeranc (as his young son, Brian), and the voice of Samuel L. Jackson (speaking the thoughts of Rumbo, the older dog who looks after Fluke during his time as a stray), Fluke is an engrossing, beautifully-filmed movie, with a very emotive soundtrack that will definitely pull on the heartstrings. Speaking of which: here is a serious caveat re watching this film. If you have lost someone very dear to you, whether recently or a long while ago, please approach this movie with caution – it will trigger memories that tear your heart apart, truly. In short, Fluke is a lovely, heartwarming film but is also genuinely heartbreaking for anybody whose grief for a lost loved one remains within them, so be warned. Please click here to view an official – and very evocative – trailer for Fluke on YouTube.
DIDN'T YOU HEAR?
On 4 August 2023, my movie watch was a much-anticipated but ultimately tedious beyond all measure semi-fantasy flick entitled Didn't You Hear? It was released to a handful of cinemas in 1970, but did not receive a major release until 1983, via video, which was still far too early for such boring dross in my view. I've seen some abysmal movies in my time, but this one ranks very high in any such listing, at least imho.
Directed and produced by Skip Sherwood, Didn't You Hear? stars a very young Dennis Christopher as largely friendless high school student Kevin (his only true friend is James, played by an equally youthful Gary Busey in his first major film role), who spends most of the movie within a fantasy daydream in which he is the captain of a pirate ship, crewed by James and a bunch of fellow students who are his friends in this daydream but view him with disdain in real life at school. They all spend the film engaging in crushingly dull, puerile, pretentious philosophizing, and conducting infantile pirate games in the manner more expected of 4-5-year olds. As for this movie's unusual title – this proves to be the brief but devastating reply received by Kevin from another high school student in response to the extremely fraught question that he urgently asks her right at the very end.
The first of two saving graces for Didn't You Hear? is its hauntingly beautiful title song (click here to listen to it on YouTube), sung wistfully by Tom Muncrief (who also wrote its lyrics, with its melody by Mort Garson), together with an early electronic score performed on Moog synthesizers and subsequently released as an album. And its only other saving grace? I was able to watch this film for free on YouTube (click here if you wish to do so too), after having sought it out unsuccessfully on video for ages. Sometimes it's good to fail. Please click here to simply view an official trailer for Didn't You Hear? on YouTube.
PETER PAN (2003)
My film watch on 31 May 2023 was the delightful family fantasy movie Peter Pan, which was directed by P.J. Hogan and released in 2003 by Universal Pictures and Columbia TriStar Pictures. Apart from presenting a change of fate for the Lost Boys at the very end, this film is by far the most faithful live-action big-screen adaptation of J.M. Barrie's original play and novel re the boy who never grew up that I've ever seen
Jeremy Sumpter as the title character is a veritable wood sprite in human form with a cheeky grin and a cocky yet also somewhat insecure demeanour at times that totally brings to life Barrie's verbal description of the ambivalent Peter. Moreover, despite being a 14-year-old teenager at the time of filming, he only looks about 8 or 9, again in keeping with the Barrie original. The special effects and settings are quite exquisite, Tinker Bell is all glitter and glow, and much more malicious than the 1953 Disney version, so once again is as portrayed in print by Barrie. Also, far more feral than Disney's chocolate-box-sweet versions are the mermaids, who, as Peter warns Wendy (Rachel Hurd-Wood), enjoy drowning unsuspecting visitors that draw too near to them. Other well-known stars appearing in Neverland include Jason Isaacs as the oleaginously evil Captain Hook and Richard Briers as Hook's feeble-minded first-mate Mr Smee.
On a poignant note, this film's executive producer was none other than Egyptian-born tycoon and former Harrods owner Mohamed Al-Fayed, and the film is dedicated to his late son Dodi (who had been executive producer of an earlier, 1991-released Peter Pan-themed movie, Hook, as it so happens). When aged just 42, Dodi was tragically killed with Princess Diana, aged only 36, during that fateful paparazzi-pursuing car chase through a Paris road tunnel on 31 August 1997. In a real sense, therefore, they remain ever young, never growing up into advanced years – so this movie is a very apt, fitting tribute to both of them. Please click here to view an official trailer for Peter Pan on YouTube.
THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI ACROSS THE 8TH DIMENSION
On 30 November 2023, I watched for the very first time the cult sci fi movie The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (or Buckaroo Banzai, for short), directed by W.D. Richter, and starring Peter Weller in the title role. It came out in 1984, which means that it's taken me almost 40 years to watch it – let's just say, it will take me even longer before I ever watch it again! What a totally incomprehensible, tedious pile of piffle, a veritable tower of tosh, in fact! And that's taking into account the fact that I'd actually read a detailed plot summary for it beforehand (on the sound advice of a fellow movie fan who knew that I was about to view it); had I not done so, I doubt that it would have made any sense to me at all. Halfway through, I took a 20-minute break to revitalise my stultified brain, only to discover when I returned that the second half was even more abstruse than the first!
Its opaque/crazy plot was something to do with a mad scientist (played by John Lithgow) breaking through into another dimension, where some good aliens had trapped some bad aliens, and causing the latter to escape into Earth's dimension, where our hero the scientific genius & rockstar Dr Buckararoo Banzai and his gang now have to remove them post haste, before the good aliens do it for them - by nuking our entire planet! Or something like that... It also features Jeff Goldblum as a scientist/physician who dresses up as a cowboy throughout for reasons that passed me by amidst the all-too-frequently mumbled, garbled dialogue.
To be fair, Peter Weller does his best with what he's been given, but the best thing about this movie imho is the very eyecatching front cover on its DVD. Speaking of which: I'd actually been planning to buy said DVD for my collection, but now, having finally watched and thereby discovered the nature of this movie (and for free, on the Internet Archive website), that is SO not going to happen! Please click here to view an official trailer for Buckaroo Banzai on YouTube – assuming you really want to, that is...
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