RED SONJA

 

Publicity poster for Red Sonja (© Richard Fleischer/Dino De Laurentiis Corporation/MGM-UA Entertainment Co/Thorn EMI Screen Corporation – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for review/educational purposes only)

My movie watch on 23 July 2022, screened on the British retro TV channel Legend (formerly the Horror Channel), was the mid-1980s swords & sorcery movie Red Sonja, which I'd somehow never got around to watching before. After finally watching it, however, I realised why.

Directed by Richard Fleischer, Red Sonja features a title character who first appeared in the Robert E. Howard fantasy short story The Shadow of the Vulture (1934) but was not incorporated into his Conan the Barbarian/Hyborian Age universe until some time later, by Marvel Comics. Released in 1985 by MGM/UA and Thorn EMI, in the opinion of many viewers and critics alike this is definitely one of those classic "so bad that it's good" films.

Red Sonja stars Danish-born former model Brigitte Nielsen (in her first screen role, aged 21) as the eponymous flame-haired Amazonesque warrior who seeks to kill the evil Queen Gedren of Berkubane (Sandahl Bergman, who was actually the first choice to play Sonja!). Gedren has slaughtered Sonja's family and devastated villages near and far in her insane quest to rule the world, driven by her theft of The Talisman. This is an all-powerful green-glowing orb, but which will destroy the world if not destroyed itself – an additional perilous task that Sonja therefore needs to accomplish.

Assisting Sonja's quest is Lord Kalidor, played by Arnold Schwarzenegger – who was signed up by Dino de Laurentiis to merely play a cameo, but his role was eventually expanded to such a degree that he ended up as co-star, with top billing! Also, his character is deemed by many to be Conan the Barbarian himself, but given a different name here in order to avoid copyright issues.

Also worth mentioning are the precocious, intensely annoying little princeling Tarn (Ernie Reyes Jr) and his much put-upon underling Falkon (Paul L. Smith). Following their rescue by Sonja and Kalidor after Gedren's destruction of Tarn's kingdom, their principal purpose is to provide some brief intervals of light/comic relief between the plenitude of battles and bloodshed.

Speaking of which: both lead stars are superb in the numerous action scenes, and are ably augmented throughout by a stirring soundtrack composed by none other than the maestro of movie music himself, Ennio Morricone, as well as spectacular costumes designed by Danilo Donati. Conversely, their dialogue, and in particular their presentation of it, imho contains about as much expression as the Speaking Clock! As for their non-action acting scenes: not so much Woden as wooden is what I might have said if this fantasy movie had been based upon traditional Norse or Teutonic mythology – but it wasn't, so I won't.

Ah well, at least there is a scene featuring a menacing spider the size of a large dog, and being duly treated as a pet by Gedren, which I assumed was a foreshadowing of arachnid aggression later on in the movie. Sadly, however, no – it never appears again, although one baddie in black attire is referred to as a black spider by one of the goodies.

True, there is a belligerent, frenetic mechanical water beast that behaves rather like a sea serpent on speed, but otherwise this fantasy film is decidedly deficient in monsters. Not one for crypto-fans, therefore, but an entertaining, highly humorous watch for me nonetheless, albeit for reasons probably not envisaged by its creators and contributors!

If you'd like to join forces with Sonja and Kalidor on their noble quest, albeit only for the length of an official Red Sonja movie trailer, be sure to click here to watch one on YouTube.

To view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

REIGN OF THE GARGOYLES

 

Publicity poster for Reign of the Gargoyles (© Ayton Davis/Sci Fi Pictures/Concrete Productions/Unified Film Organization/Syfy Original Movies – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

On 20 July 2022, my movie watch (screened this afternoon in Britain on Legend TV - formerly the Horror Channel) was the WW2/monster mash-up fantasy movie Reign of the Gargoyles.

Directed by Ayton Davis, co-produced by Phillip J. Roth, and released in 2007 by Syfy Original Movies, Reign of the Gargoyles opens with some WW2 Nazis utilising an ancient blood ritual to bring to life a huge stone statue of the horned 'king' gargoyle Vorthorn, located inside a ruined castle on the French/Belgian border. Moreover, Vorthorn's now-living state in turn brings to life a host of other gargoyle stone statues there too.

But instead of serving the Nazis, as was the latter's plan for these monsters, the gargoyles slaughter them all, and then fly away to inflict comparable carnage not only upon local villagers but also upon both American and German fighter planes in the skies overhead.

The only way to end these winged marauders' reign of terror is to locate the tomb of a soldier knight who had killed them when they had been brought to life once before, many centuries earlier during the Middle Ages, by harpooning Vorthorn with the Spear of Destiny, thereby transforming this unholy monster and, in turn, all of the other gargoyles as well, back into stone.

This spear is of course the very same one that a Roman centurion had wounded Jesus Christ with when He was crucified and which supposedly possessed magical properties thereafter.

As the legendary Spear had been buried with the knight, a group of American and British WW2 soldiers, aided by a local French woman named Sofie who relates to them the bizarre history of the gargoyles, set out to find the tomb and retrieve the Spear from it for slaying Vorthorn, but confronting gargoyles and Nazis alike en route.

As I'm not a big war movie fan, I tended to skip over in my mind the frequent warfare scenes between the Americans/British troops and the Nazis, so I no doubt missed the various factual WW2-related errors that others have commented about elsewhere. Conversely, regardless once again of criticism aimed at them by certain other reviewers, I personally found the CGI gargoyles sufficiently impressive to maintain my attention, especially for a non-Hollywood movie with a non-Hollywood budget.

So, notwithstanding Reign of the Gargoyles being a bargain-basement movie entry, with no major film stars appearing in it (the best known are probably Joe Penny as U.S. Major John 'Gus' Gustafson and Wes Ramsey as fellow American airman Will 'Ace' McCallister), its cast all provide creditable performances in my opinion, and the movie itself offers an interesting, undeniably novel twist on the standard creature feature theme, which I certainly appreciated and relished. It is well known that the Nazis, especially those under Himmler, dabbled in the occult, yet few films have pursued this aspect, so this one should be congratulated for forging an original path in its theme.

If like me you enjoy goggling at gargoyles on the big or small screen, and can understand German, be sure to click here to watch a German-language version of the entire Reign of the Gargoyles movie free of charge on YouTube (the version that I watched on TV was in English, but this is not presently available on YouTube).

To view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

4D MAN

 

Publicity poster for 4D Man (© Irwin Yeaworth/Fairview Productions/Jack H. Harris Enterprises/Universal-International – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial fair use basis for educational/review purposes only)

On 4 July 2022, I watched the 1959 sci fi movie 4D Man, as recommended to me a few days previously by Facebook friend Paul Clacher – and I enjoyed it very much.

Directed by Irvin S. Yeaworth Jr, produced by Jack H. Harris, and released in 1959 by Universal-International, 4D Man is based upon an original idea by Harris, and it has also been variously entitled The Evil Force and Master of Terror in re-released form. It concerns the incredible discovery by maverick scientist Dr Tony Nelson (played by James Congdon) of how to induce any object to enter a so-called 4-dimensional state, in which it can pass through any other object.

However, his older, embittered brother Dr Scott Nelson (Robert Lansing), also a scientist yet perpetually overlooked by his employer, steals Tony's discovery and uses it upon himself, but with drastic consequences. Yes, Scott can now pass through solid objects, enabling him to steal a huge amount of money from a nearby bank, but every time he enters the 4-dimensional state, even for just a moment, he ages dramatically.

Scott subsequently finds that he can reverse this aging process by touching another person, for in so doing Scott drains that person's life-force, killing the person by inducing in him or her extreme old age. Now a serial killer in order to survive, Scott soon becomes a wanted man by the police, but can Tony, from whom Scott stole this double-edged discovery, come to his rescue? And what about Scott's girlfriend Linda Davis (Lee Meriwether), whom Scott earnestly wishes to marry, even though he realises that it's only his brother Tony that she has eyes for? Let's just say that the ending of this film is not at all what I'd been expecting, instead providing a deliberately novel twist.

The version of 4D Man that I viewed apparently had a scene missing, in which Scott reportedly attacks a gang of thugs in a sleazy bar to devastating effect, but it is still an engrossing watch, spoilt only by an incessant and very loud jazz soundtrack that resolutely plays on, and on, and on, interminably, even in the most inopportune and inappropriate moments, thus destroying any sense of suspense or drama, which is a great shame. By contrast, the special effects are very good for the late 1950s, readily accomplishing the several 'walking through walls' scenes and other 'slipping through solid matter' set pieces that are integral to this movie's central storyline.

Apart from Lee Meriwether, who was making her film debut here, but whom I most readily recall as Catwoman in the 1960s movie version of the popular Batman TV show starring Adam West (and in which Catwoman was initially played by Julie Newmar, later by Eartha Kitt), none of the actors or actresses were overly familiar to me. Nevertheless, they put in perfectly acceptable performances, in particular a very intense, driven interpretation by Lansing (for whom this was his film debut too) as the principal protagonist. Interestingly, Lansing wouldn't have been given the part had the original choice for it not been so difficult to work with that he was summarily dropped – a certain Steve McQueen…

All in all, I found 4D Man to be an unusual, memorable sci fi movie, which I'm very glad to have learned about and watched. And if you'd like to view an atmospheric official trailer for it on YouTube, be sure to click here.

To view a complete comprehensive listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

MONSTER HUNTER (2020)

 

Publicity poster for Monster Hunter (© Paul W.S. Anderson/Constantin Films/AB Digital Pictures/Tencent Pictures/Toho/Sony Pictures/Screen Gems – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

On 27 February 2022, my movie watch, which had been recommended to me a few days previously by Facebook friend Thomas Finley, was the fairly recent movie Monster Hunter (not to be confused with various earlier, entirely unrelated films of the same title), a live-action/CGI big-screen sci fi/fantasy extravaganza based upon the eponymous series of Capcom video games.

Directed, written, and co-produced by Paul W.S. Anderson, and released in 2020 through Screen Gems by Sony Pictures, Monster Hunter is all about a squad of U.N. soldiers who are seeking some missing troops in an unnamed desert but become  caught up in a bizarre lightning storm that acts as a space-time portal, instantaneously transporting them to another world in another dimension. There, all but one are swiftly killed by various terrifying monsters, including a ferocious and unutterably ginormous sand-dwelling horned horror aptly called the diablos (depicted in the Monster Hunter publicity poster opening this present review of mine), and an immense cave-dwelling horde of hideous gigantic arachnid-like monstrosities called nerscyllas that skin-crawlingly combine the worst features of spiders and scorpions, which is really saying something!

The squad's sole survivor, U.S. Army Ranger Captain Natalie Artemis (played by Milla Jovovich), teams up with a lone indigenous warrior, Hunter (Tony Jaa), and they duly help each other survive the terrrors that this (very) strange new world contains before eventually reaching Hunter's home.

Just before they do, incidentally, Artemis and Hunter encounter a placid herbivorous herd of very sizeable but thoroughly delightful beasts named apceros that resemble highly improbable hybrids of giant tortoises and ankylosaur dinosaurs. Also making an appearance is a far less placid plesiosaur-like water monster that lunges ferociously at an unsuspecting Artemis when she approaches the deceptively tranquil expanse of water in which it is concealed. Despite being highly amused by her shock reaction, Hunter swiftly uses one of his arrows to good effect to save the day – and Artemis!

Once inside the shelter of Hunter's abode, Artemis makes the grudging acquaintance of (after being temporarily imprisoned by) a non-nonsense hunter leader known as The Admiral (Ron Perlman), plus his humanoid feline cook (Aaron Beelner), who is a member of the sentient Palico species. Together with Hunter, this odd couple endeavour to set things right by assisting Artemis to defeat a monstrous dragon-like fire-breather called a rathalos that loses no time in threatening their very existence.

This daunting winged monster is the guardian of an immensely tall, mysterious edifice in the desert known as the Sky Tower, which was built long ago by the first civilization to develop the technology for travelling between worlds via the portals.

Unfortunately, however, the rathalos not only survives their attempt to slay it, but also actually manages to enter our own world via an open portal. Trouble! Fortunately, Artemis and Hunter are able to pursue it into our world too via the same portal, and successfully dispatch it – but then a second, black dragon, known as Gore Madala, appears!

Monster Hunter boasts some spectacular special effects, especially those showcasing its array of very unusual and highly original monsters (except for the rathalos, which looks very like the wyvern Smaug from The Hobbit movie trilogy). However, no sooner has it presented its climactic rathalos confrontation and the arrival of Gore Madala than the movie abruptly ends! Clearly, therefore, this is intended as the first film in a future movie franchise.

For me, Monster Hunter is great fun, and no doubt for other creature feature fans too, as long as you are not arachnophobic, that is – those nerscyllas truly are the stuff of nightmares, especially as they rear their young by impregnating living humans with them, in best/worst Alien tradition (and graphically shown in the film). You have been warned!

If you can stomach it (sorry!), be sure to click here to watch an action-packed official trailer for Monster Hunter on Y0uTube – or (if you hate spiders, scorpions, or both) don't!

To view a complete comprehensive listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

Photographic still depicting a nerscylla, from Monster Hunter (© Paul W.S. Anderson/Constantin Films/AB Digital Pictures/Tencent Pictures/Toho/Sony Pictures/Screen Gems – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)