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Friday, November 28, 2025

A KID FOR TWO FARTHINGS

 
Publicity poster for A Kid For Two Farthings (© Carol Reed/London Films/Romulus Films – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educationa/review purposes only)

In which film can you find a real-life world heavyweight boxing champion and a real-life world heavyweight wrestling champion, plus a future quantum physicist, a future mainstay of the Carry-On movies, and Britain's answer to Marilyn Monroe, not to mention the female star of one of the silver screen's most celebrated romantic 'weepies'? As I'll now explain in the following review, the answer is none other than a delightful British movie from the mid-1950s entitled A Kid For Two Farthings, which I watched earlier tonight.

Directed and co-produced by the legendary Carol Read, with the equally legendary Alexander Korda as co-producer, plus a screenplay adapted by Wolf Mankowitz from his own 1953 novel of the same title, and released in 1955 by Romulus Films, A Kid For Two Farthings centres upon a little boy named Joe (played by Jonathan Ashmore – more about him later) living in Petticoat Lane,  the wholesale/retail area of London's bustling East End, with his mother Joanna (Celia Johnson, she of the afore-mentioned weepie, which was of course Brief Encounter). Also present are their adult friends Sonia (Britain's very own blonde bombshell Diana Dors) and bodybuilder Sam (Joe Robinson, who in real life was the 1951 world heavyweight wrestling champion). Joe's father is working in South Africa as a prospector, but whether he will ever return to him and Joanna remains unanswered. In his absence, their elderly tailor neighbor and landlord Avrom Kandinsky (David Kossoff) keeps a friendly watchful eye over them, especially Joe, with whom he has a touching avuncular/grandfatherly relationship, telling him stories that more often than not the young impressionable Joe assumes to be true.

One of these is that there are still unicorns in this world but that they have all migrated to Africa, to escape persecution here in England that had been caused by the immense value of their single spiraled horns, which can grant all wishes. Sonia has been engaged to Sam for the past four years, but because he earns very little he has still not been able to buy her a ring, let alone give serious consideration to their getting married. Meanwhile, Joanna lives in unfulfilled hope that her husband, Joe's father, will one day come back home, and Mr Kandinsky is in sore need of an automatic steam press to enable him to take on more work. In short, everyone has wishes that they fervently hope will come true but have no realistic means of making them do so – until the unicorn arrives, or something rather like one.

While walking through the animal section of the local outdoor market one day, Joe spots a man walking a remarkable-looking animal on a lead in the hope of selling it someone. It resembles a small white kid (young goat – the movie's titular kid), but instead of possessing a pair of small lateral horns like normal kids, it bears a single small centrally-located one like unicorns are said to possess. Although in reality it is nothing more than a freak goat specimen (such creatures do occur occasionally in real life), infused with Mr Kandinsky's stories Joe fervently believes it to be a bona fide unicorn, and after a little haggling concerning its price he purchases the quaint little creature from its owner.

Re its price: allow me to explain the intriguing title of this movie (and originating novel). Joe offered the uni-goat's owner all the money that he had in his pockets – a grand total of three shillings and nine pence (roughly equivalent in today's UK decimal currency to 18p), which the creature's owner refused, stating that he'd rather kill it, eat its meat, and sell its hide. Desperate for that dreadful fate not to occur, Joe searched his pockets again, and found a single coin that he'd overlooked earlier – a ha'penny (the colloquial name commonly given to the halfpenny coin). So Joe offered that too, on top of his previous three shillings and nine pence – and this time the owner accepted and gave the uni-goat to Joe. Bearing in mind that the ha'penny had made all the difference between Joe not being able and then being able to buy the animal, you could say that in reality he'd bought it for a ha'penny. But that is not all: back in the 1950s, the decade in which this film was set (and released in reality), there was a very small, low-value coin still in British circulation that was known as a farthing, four of which were equal to one penny. Consequently, as two farthings were therefore equal to one ha'penny, two farthings had made all the difference as to whether the owner had sold the uni-goat to Joe. So, quite literally, Joe had successfully purchased it for two farthings – mystery solved!

 
The uni-goat from A Kid For Two Farthings (© Carol Reed/London Films/Romulus Films – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educationa/review purposes only)

From then on, beginning with small wishes, Joe implores his new pet to make them come true, and whether by coincidence or by cosmic indulgence, somehow they do. Sam, meanwhile, is coerced into taking up wrestling bouts as a means of earning money to buy Sonia her much-longed-for ring, climaxing in a grudge match against the villainous former wrestling champion Python Macklin (Primo Carnera, the real-life Italian world heavyweight boxing champion), but will Joe's 'unicorn' grant his wish that Sam will win? Or will the reality that it is merely a sickly malformed kid prove too much?

Speaking of Joe: Jonathan Ashmore, who played him when just 7 years old, comes from a serious thespian background, with his father being theatre director-actor Peter Ashmore and his mother actress Rosalie Crutchley. But this did not stop him from undergoing a dramatic career move, from acting (A Kid For Two Farthings was his only film appearance) to academia, qualifying as a quantum physicist after obtaining a PhD in this subject, and after many major contributions to physics and also physiology becoming a Fellow of the Royal Society. He is currently Bernard Katz Professor of Biophysics at University College London.

As for the future Carry On mainstay – this is none other than Sid James, who plays Ice Berg, the comic-relief spiv who spends much of the movie trying to tempt Sam into purchasing one of his decidedly dodgy engagement rings for Sonia.  Moreover, another future Carry On stalwart makes a very brief appearance – Barbara Windsor.

Carol Reed's first colour movie (and which earned him a Palme d'Or nomination at the 1955 Cannes Film Festival), with its exteriors shot in and around the genuine Petticoat Lane (which I visited back in the early 1970s and bought a small modern-day reproduction of an antiquarian globe of the world that I still have today ), and packed with notable British actors and actresses who all performed their parts well (with Kossoff being absolutely sensational), A Kid For Two Farthings is one of those whimsical, nostalgic, quintessentially British films from that particular time period that deftly mixes comedy, drama, fantasy, and gentle but unashamed wholesomeness to excellent effect throughout. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie, and anyone seeking to recapture a setting and an entire way of life long gone now will do so too – of that I have no doubt.

Finally: to view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 
Joe Robinson as Sam and Diana Dors as Sonia, from A Kid For Two Farthings (© Carol Reed/London Films/Romulus Films – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educationa/review purposes only)

 

Tuesday, September 30, 2025

ALERTS FOR: THE MAGIC TOYSHOP, SING, AND HEADIN' FOR HOLLYWOOD, FROM MY EX-RENTAL BIG BOX VIDEO COLLECTION

 
Front cover of the ex-rental big box video for the British television fantasy/drama/horror movie The Magic Toyshop (© David Wheatley/Angela Carter/Granada Television/first broadcast by ITV in 1988 – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

It has become increasingly apparent to me lately that I am watching far more movies than I can possibly review, particularly now that for well over a year I've been experiencing close-up vision problems (happily, my distance vision is unaffected) that are slowing down my reading and typing abilities significantly, especially when attempting these via computer screens. I am currently on th official waiting list for a corrective operation, so hopefully this issue will ultimately prove to be a temporary inconvenience only, but nevertheless I may never catch up on the time I've lost in relation to my writings and researches.

With movies, I tend to gravitate towards the lesser-known, more unusual examples, just as I do with cryptids when researching and writing on cryptozoology; and since my Shuker In MovieLand blog began five years ago now, I've been contacted by many of its readers thanking me for reviewing movies that they'd never previously known about but which, after reading my reviews, they have since watched and very much enjoyed. Consequently, as my blog is clearly serving a useful purpose, I've devised a means by which I can alert readers to more movies than I've been able to do lately.

Namely, rather than only presenting full-length reviews or mini-reviews written by me, I shall also be providing collections of what I am referring to as alerts – i.e. short but concise accounts of movies viewed by me that I feel may be of viewing interest to others too. Each movie alert (which I shall type in blue) will simply take the form of basic details (an identifying image, the director, production company/ies, distribution/release company, and release date) for that movie, plus excerpts quoted from its own official blurb as present on the back cover of its DVD/video or press release, naming its principal stars and including a brief plot resume; or from IMBd's summary if there are insufficient details on the above-named sources. This will thereby enable readers to determine for themselves straight away whether or not the movie in question is likely be of interest to them. I may also add a comment or two of my own (distinguished by not being typed in blue) if there are any specific aspects that I wish to emphasise or expand upon.

Finally: just because they are represented here on my blog by alerts, this does not necessarily mean that I shall never produce a full review or even a mini-review of any alert-documented movies at some stage in the future. Moreover, if I do prepare full or mini-reviews of any alert movie, I shall then delete its respective alert and replace it with an alert for some other movie. So be sure to check back regularly to alert pages, as their content is likely to change from time to time.

I hope that you'll like my blog content's new, additional format, which, as explained above, will permit me to document far more films in far less time than was previously true, especially given my present close-up vision issues. But, rest assured, I shall also continue to write full reviews and mini-reviews as and when time and eyesight permit, but because of the alerts appearing on what I hope will be a much more frequent basis this will no longer be such an imperative task for me in order to keep abreast of my movie viewing. Thanks for your understanding and alert appreciation.

Anyway, to give this first set of alerts a theme of sorts, all three of the ones presented here today refer to movies that I've watched lately from my ex-rental big box video collection, which include some that do not appear to have been released in DVD or Blu-Ray (or not readily-accessible ones anyway), so may well be unfamiliar to many film fans. NB – All images are reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only.

 

 
Full cover of the ex-rental big box video for the British television fantasy/drama/horror movie The Magic Toyshop (© David Wheatley/Angela Carter/Granada Television/first broadcast by ITV in 1988)

THE MAGIC TOYSHOP

From IMBd's entry for this movie: After her parents are killed in a plane crash over the Grand Canyon, Melanie [Caroline Milmoe], a teenager girl and her younger brother and sister are sent to London to live with their uncle, Philip [Tom Bell]. There, she meets his mute wife Margaret [Patricia Kerrigan], who is mistreated by and terrified of her husband and only converses through notes. She also meets Margaret's younger brothers Francie [Lorcan Cranitch], a fiddler, and the rakish Finn [Kilian McKenna]. Her uncle is a toy maker, [and] secretly has the power to make his toys come to life, but he also maintains dictatorial control over his family and intends to exercise the same control over the new arrival.

The teleplay and story for this almost two-hour-long movie are by Angela Carter, adapted from her original novel from 1967. The latter is popularly categorized as belonging to the magic realism genre of literature, but having read it shortly after watching this movie I can readily state that, to my great disappointment, it is singularly bereft of magic – unlike the movie, which is plentifully supplied with it, culminating in a truly shocking, totally surreal climax. An incredibly difficult movie to track down in physical format but thoroughly mesmerizing and well worth seeking out, The Magic Toyshop can currently be viewed for free via a somewhat inferior-quality but nonetheless watchable full upload on YouTube – so click here to do so while you can!

 

 
Front cover of my ex-rental big box video of the American musical drama movie Sing (© Richard J. Baskin/Tri-Star Pictures/released in 1989)

SING

From my video's back cover blurb: Set on the tough, volatile streets of Brooklyn, Sing is a story of ordinary lives and extraordinary dreams. A song and dance competition set in the Brooklyn schools, 'Sing' offers the young people the chance to express their personal exhilaration, desperation and passion. Sing follows the lives of three such people – Dominic (Peter Dobson), a defiant, discontented street fighter; Hannah (Jessica Steen) who yearns for a better life; and their teacher Miss Lombardo (Lorraine Bracco), whose determination and energy is an inspiration to them both. Together, these three people become a symbol of hope and ultimate survival in a community struggling with social change.

Until I watched this movie, as a Brit I was unaware of the annual SING! competition staged in some of New York's high schools, and upon which this movie is based. Run by the schools' own students, it takes the form of a a musical theatre competition between various grades within each school. As for this movie, which I thoroughly enjoyed, Sing can currently be watched in its entirety for free on YouTube by clicking here.

 

F
ront cover of my ex-rental big box video of the American musical drama movie Headin' For Broadway (© Joseph Brooks (director/producer/co-writer)/20th Century Fox, released in 1980)

HEADIN' FOR BROADWAY

From my video's back cover blurb: Headin' For Broadway springs into spectacular life where Fame left off. They are now looking for that starring role which is going to bring them fame and fortune – but it's a slightly more rocky path than they originally thought! This bubbly lightning-fast production will give you not only the glamour and pezzaz but also the traumas and disappointments of trying to break into the most difficult profession. An extravaganza of light and joy from beginning to end!

One of the four hopefuls whom we follow throughout the movie as they strive for that crucial shot at fame on Broadway is uber-confident extrovert Fast Eddie, played by Rex Smith, who in real life closely paralleled in the States a popular performer here in the UK, Paul Nicholas. Back in the 1970s and early 1980s, both of them were shaggy-haired, insanely handsome, highly-talented and much sought-after young actors who also happened to be successful pop singers, both with several entries to their names in the singles and album charts within their respective countries and beyond, before moving on to more serious stage and screen roles. Smith acquired worldwide fame during the mid-1980s courtesy of the TV show Street Hawk, in which he played Jesse Mach, a special police crime-fighter riding Street Hawk, which was a futuristic motorbike equipped with incredible capabilities (so, needless to say, I was a big fan of the show, never missing an episode!). Headin' For Broadway, which again I thoroughly enjoyed, can also currently be watched in its entirety for free on YouTube, by clicking here.

 

Finally: to view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's film reviews, articles, and alert batches (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 

 

Sunday, August 31, 2025

THE NEW AVENGERS: 'THE MIDAS TOUCH'

 
A photo-still depicting Midas in his 'Masque of the Red Death'-lookalike costume from The Midas Touch episode of The New Avengers (© Brian Clemens/Albert Fennell/Robert Fuest/The Avengers (Film and TV) Enterprises Ltd/London Weekend – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

Imagine a young man inoculated with every deadly disease known to humanity in a manner ensuring that he himself is immune to all of them and shows no outward sign of being such a horrific carrier, but also ensuring that anyone who touches or is touched by his bare skin is fated to die within minutes – of everything, suffering from and killed by all of the countless diseases with which the young man has been inoculated.

Imagine, still further, that the diabolical germ-warfare scientist responsible for this heinous feat, a Professor Turner (played by David Swift), is hiring the young man out to the highest bidder, to use him for whatever dreadful, murderous purpose the bidder chooses. In return, Turner is paid in gold – lots and lots of gold, to which he is totally addicted, like a small-screen Auric Goldfinger. The young man therefore serves not only as a veritable Grim Reaper, with his touch of death, but also as a veritable King Midas, with his deadly touch creating gold, literally, for Turner.

Little wonder, then, that Turner has dubbed the young man Midas. And now a princess is about to become the next unsuspecting victim of Midas and Turner – unless Steed, Gambit, and Purdy can stop them!

Yes indeed, this episode – 'The Midas Touch', directed by Robert Fuest – is my all-time favourite from the mid-1970s, 2-series British secret agent TV show The New Avengers, created by Brian Clemens and Albert Fennell, constituting an official direct sequel to the very popular 1960s show The Avengers, creatwd by Sydney Newman, with Patrick MacNee starring as the archetypal super-suave British secret agent John Steed in both of them, but ably assisted in this new incarnation by Purdy (Joanna Lumley) and Gambit (Gareth Hunt).

I watched 'The Midas Touch' on 28 August 2023, for the first time since it was originally screened almost 50 years ago, and it was just as good as I'd remembered. Here's Midas (played by Gilles Millinaire) in his usual form (below) and in his 'Masque of the Red Death'-lookalike costume (above). Vincent Price would have approved, I'm sure.

Click here to watch an excerpt from this episode's opening scene in which Midas makes his deadly debut at a costume party, dressed as the Red Death (inspred by the famous Edgar Allan Poe short story), to plunge his hands into the punch bowl from which all of the guests are innocently imbibing its now-lethal contents.

Finally: to view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 
Midas in his usual form ((© Brian Clemens/Albert Fennell/The Avengers (Film and TV) Enterprises Ltd/London Weekend – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

 

 

Saturday, June 7, 2025

ORC WARS (aka DRAGONFYRE)

 
Publicity picture depicting Rusty Joiner as John Norton alongside one of the orcs from Orc Wars (© Kohl Glass/Uncorkd Entertainment/Arrowstorm Entertainment – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

My movie watch on 4 June 2025 was Orc Wars (aka Dragonfyre), a low-budget but very entertaining action/fantasy movie in which the monstrous orcs inhabiting a parallel dimension threaten to invade and conquer our own world via a magical gateway linking the two.

Directed and also co-written by Kohl Glass, and released in 2013 by Arrowstorm Entertainment, Orc Wars features as its lead character a shell-shocked, traumatised American ex-Special Forces operative, John Norton (played by Rusty Joiner), who buys a ranch out in some remote American wilderness many miles from anywhere (the movie is shot on location in Utah) where he hopes to find peace and seclusion. Some hope!

For instead, what he does find is that, firstly, he is in fact the latest in a long line of world sentinels born to guard gateways to eight other parallel worlds that periodically open when our moon and theirs overlap in the sky; and, secondly, one of these gateways, situated inside a cave on his own land and near to his new home, is presently releasing from their world into ours hordes of savage, sword-wielding, arrow-shooting orcs. In addition, they are empowered but also subjugated by an insubstantial, floating witch-like entity, Anathema (great name!), veiled and shrounded in white but irrevocably evil. Anathema is played visually by Samantha Law, but with Clare Grant providing this weird character's ear-piercing, banshee-like shrieks (which occur often, albeit for no apparent reason in most cases!).

Gravity-defying but in grievous need of a manicure, this airborne multi-taloned terror is seeking to capture a fair elven princess named Aleya (played delectably by Masiela Lusha) who has fled into our world to escape Anathema's stiletto-nailed clutches, because the shrieking one plans to sacrifice the regal elf in order to gain supreme power, or something like that. Anyway, the witch has also weaponised a fire-breathing winged dragon of colossal size and seemingly unstoppable power, to add to her planned devastation of our world and ensure that the orcs recapture Aleya.

For his part, Norton can rely only upon three (briefly four) brave helpers. Aleya herself is one, a fairly diminutive but feisty long-eared lady who is immensely skilled as an archer. Another is Katie (Clare Niederpruem), the estate agent who had recently arranged Norton's purchase of the ranch and soon after his moving in there calls around to see how he is settling in, only to become an unwitting but willing – yet tragically short-lived – ally in his bid to conquer the orcs.

Then there is a blind Native American warrior named Whitefeather (Wesley John), whose family was slaughtered by orcs during an earlier incursion into our world when he was a child. Moreover, although sparing his life, they gouged out his eyes. As a result, however, Whitefeather developed mystical powers, not to mention some highly effective martial arts moves, and thereafter, as a means of avenging his family and himself, he devoted his life to helping the then sentinel of the world gate to defend it from invading orcs, before the sentinel was eventually slain by them. So now, Whitefeather has transferred his allegiance to the new sentinel, Norton.

Last but not least is Scooter (Maclain Nelson, who also served as one of this movie's co-producers), a stereotypical good ol' boy from Hicksville. Originally one of three such characters who at the movie's beginning encounter a group of Aleya-seeking orcs, he is the only one to survive that meeting. However, although he may be dumb, Scooter is also heroic and loyal, unlike his two compatriots who were nasty pieces of work (so their respective but equally gory orc-engineered demises are guaranteed not to be grieved about by the film's viewers!).

But can Norton and his small, oddly-matched band of supporters nullify the grandiose schemes of Anathema and a seemingly limitless contingent of ornery orcs? What do you think??

 
The full cover of my official UK DVD of Orc Wars (© Kohl Glass/Uncorkd Entertainment/Arrowstorm Entertainment/High Fliers – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

For a low-budget movie like this one, the orc costumes, especially the facial masks used, are very impressive, and I'm guessing that they may have been inspired by those from Peter Jackson's mega-budget LOTR movie trilogy. Speaking of which, the sentinel's sword is claimed by some reviewers to be a dead ringer for the sword utilised as Sting in this same trilogy. (Quite frankly, however, as I have more to do in my life than spend it conducting pedantic, ultimately unimportant comparisons like this, I cannot pass any opinion regarding such claims.) As for the CGI-rendered flying dragon, this is very well designed, and delivers satisfactorily too, engaging my attention whenever it appears on screen.

Although they all perform their roles well, the cast members are for the most part virtual unknowns. Indeed, prior to this movie I hadn't even heard of or seen anything featuring its lead actor, Rusty Joiner. So I looked him up online, and learnt that he is one of a growing number of former male fashion models who have since moved into the acting profession, including such now-famous screen stars as Channing Tatum, Kellan Lutz, and, perhaps most successfully of all, Mark Wahlberg. Joiner's filmography contains a fair list of film and TV credits from 2004 onwards, with perhaps his most famous role being that of Eddie in Resident Evil: Extinction (though I haven't watched this movie).

In Orc Wars, Joiner plays his Mad Max-like role very serviceably, albeit a tad heavy at times on the taciturn, laconic persona, as he seeks to rescue Aleya specifically and save the world in general, In theory,, Aleya serves as Norton's love interest. but in practice they never even share as much as a kiss – no time for romance when you're decapitating orcs by the dozen, I suppose…

The concept of this movie is potentially interesting – a fantasy world and our real world clashing in open warfare. Yet in spite of their far greater numbers, the sword-slashing, bows-and-arrows brigade of orcs never really stand a chance against Norton and his literal armoury of guns, rifles, pistols, bazookas, grenades, etc etc, all of which have been left behind by his late sentinel predecessor, Indeed, so superior are these weapons to any technology familiar to the orcs in their own world that they consider them to be magical and the sentinels, now including Norton, to be wizards. Needless to say, however, such a mismatched set-up somewhat reduces the suspense and tension that this move's frequent and full-on battle scenes might otherwise have generated.

There is also a highly dramatic event that is frequently shown during this movie but which yields a major plot hole needing to be circumnavigated if attempting to suspend disbelief regarding the movie's storyline. The gateway between the orc world and ours opens briefly whenever our moon and theirs overlap, an event that can be readily seen in our sky, and which culminates in fiery lightning flickering upon their surfaces when the two moons are perfectly aligned. So how come such a readily observable, spectacular astronomical event has never once been documented by any of the countless professional and amateur sky-watchers throughout our world's long history??

Never mind, watching Orc Wars was a fun way to pass 90 minutes or so, which after all is what a movie is all about, or should be. So I'm readily able to recommend it to anyone who can enjoy fantasy without taking it seriously.

 If you would like to watch an official trailer for Orc Wars, please click here to do so on YouTube, where you can also currently watch the entire movie free of charge if you click here.

Finally: to view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.

 
A somewhat busy publicity poster for Orc Wars, featuring its alternative title of Dragonfyre (© Kohl Glass/Uncorkd Entertainment/Arrowstorm Entertainment – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

 

Saturday, April 19, 2025

THE ARTIFICE GIRL

 
Publicity poster for The Artifice Girl (© Franklin Ritch/Paper Street Pictures/Last Resort Ideas/Blood Oath/Tiberius Films/Jack Rabbit Media/XYZ Films – reproduced here on a strictly non-commercial Fair Use basis for educational/review purposes only)

This afternoon, I watched an extraordinary science fiction movie entitled The Artifice Girl.

Directed and written by Franklin Ritch, who also plays its lead human character, and released in 2022 by XYZ Films, The Artifice Girl is all about an incredibly advanced and ultra-realistic yet nonetheless a wholly virtual CGI girl created and named Cherry by troubled computer genius & anonymous online vigilante Gareth (Franklin Ritch, and with Lance Henriksen playing him as an old man) to use as bait (hence this movie's title) for ensnaring vile child predators lurking on social media.

Moreover, once he successfully confirms during interrogation that he himself is not an abuser, by revealing to them the existence of Cherry and her astonishing capabilities, Garth is thereafter assisted in his heroic endeavours by two top-secret American government investigative agents, Deena (Sinda Nichols) and Amos (David Girard).

However, Cherry swiftly and unexpectedly evolves into a super-intelligent, sentient, independent AI entity with a mind and ambitions of her own, which complicates matters very profoundly. So too does Gareth's intensely personal and tragic secret motive that perpetually haunts him and drives him on unceasingly in his determined quest to expose as many paedophiles as possible for the authorities to arrest and imprison.

The film is split into three separate segments, each successive one focusing upon a different, ever more advanced stage in Cherry's development and evolution from sophisticated computer program to self-aware AI being to eventual cyborg.

Although filmed entirely in just a handful of small, sparse sets, The Artifice Girl is absolutely engrossing and fascinating throughout its 93-minute running time. This is due in no small way to the extremely thought-provoking scientific and associated moral issues discussed at length in the gripping, brilliantly-scripted dialogue ricocheting back and forth between the four principal characters, in which not a single word is superfluous.

In addition, young actress Tatum Matthews is truly spellbinding as Cherry (she apparently learned how to talk robotically for this movie by studying the speech patterns of Amazon's virtual assistant Alexa). For even though she is seen merely as a disembodied on-screen talking face for almost the entire movie (only in the final section has Cherry ultimately acquired a physical cyborg body), she always totally dominates the viewer's attention – a major acting career awaits, surely. Incidentally, please rest assured, there is absolutely NO visual representation of any kind of abuse in this film, and only some plot-essential but wholly non-descriptive references within the characters' dialogue.

The Artifice Girl premiered on 23 July 2022, in Canada, at Montreal's 26th Annual Fantasia International Film Festival, where it won the coveted Gold Audience Award for Best International Feature, but it only received a very limited USA release, in just a few select cinemas, on 1 May 2023. Following this, it has only been available in Video On Demand format, which is a crying shame, as this riveting but little-known, hidden gem of a feature so deserves to be brought to the attention of a much wider audience – hence my reason for reviewing it here on my Shuker In MovieLand blog.

Happily, I was able to watch this film today on Daily Motion's website, and in just three days' time, on Tuesday 22 April 2025, it will be broadcast on British TV, at 9.00 pm on the terrestrial TV channel Film4 (indeed, it was seeing a mention of its upcoming Film4 screening in this weekend's TV guide for next week that brought the movie to my attention, as I'd never previously heard of it). So if you live in the UK, you can view it on there next Tuesday.

But wherever you're based, if you'd like to watch The Artifice Girl online, and free of charge too, please click here to do so on Daily Motion.

Finally: to view a complete chronological listing of all of my Shuker In MovieLand blog's other film reviews and articles (each one instantly accessible via a direct clickable link), please click HERE, and please click HERE to view a complete fully-clickable alphabetical listing of them.